You scroll through Instagram and there it is. That photo you’ve been dreading of your loose acquaintance on a tropical beach vacation. They’re wearing nothing but a teeny-tiny bathing suit and sporting a slim, sexy body. A “thirst trap,” if you will.
You’re hardly alone. More than 55% of people are tired of seeing vacation thirst traps, according to a recent survey of 1,000 Americans from PlanetWare.
You may be feeling jealous and having second thoughts about it. Is it OK to be jealous of this person you barely know? Experts say it’s absolutely OK – the problem is when that envy spills over into feelings of depression or worthlessness, which call for professional intervention.
And keep in mind that how someone’s life (or body) looks on social media isn’t always a reflection of reality.
“Social media is carefully curated and those pictures don’t reflect the range of emotions that most people feel in a day about their lives and bodies,” says Dr. Gauri Khurana, clinical instructor at the Yale University School of Medicine Department of Psychiatry. “The photos may be reflecting their best self, or more likely, they are carefully editing the photos to project a certain image.”
What is a thirst trap? And why do you feel jealous?
Thirst traps are photos of someone showing off their body in an alluring, advantageous pose and/or location that may induce several emojis (and real-life reactions): 🥵 🤤 🔥. In a word: Hot.
Social media is a helpful way to keep up with friends, yes. But it’s hurtful when said social media posts like thirst traps make us feel inferior or less than.
The first step is recognizing exactly what you’re feeling when thirsting over thirst traps. “Jealousy is another emotion and all emotions are valid and allowed,” says Cecile Tucker, registered clinical counsellor.
Next, keep the photos in context. “Consider what you are imagining about their vacation through the photo and consider how your fantasy about their vacation is more a reflection of your perceived shortcomings in your relationships, financial situation or current life circumstances,” says Sabrina Romanoff, clinical psychologist.
Scott M. Granet, licensed clinical social worker at The OCD-BDD Clinic of Northern California wonders, too: “How many times did somebody take a picture to get the right picture? To get the lighting just right? To get themselves looking in a way that they know is going to create that thirst trap experience for somebody?”
Of course, not everyone feels this way about thirst traps. Some might see a photo of a friend looking great and feel inspired to take better care of themselves.
‘Who actually wins’?
Beyond body image, frequent vacation photos imply wealth and privilege. But getting angry at individuals for their wealth won’t suddenly make you or anyone else richer.
Plus, not everyone actually has all the money they seem to; they could be maxing out credit cards or spending a one-time large inheritance, for example.
“In a world of comparisons, there is always someone worse and better, so who actually wins? And what do they win?” Khurana says.
Don’t forget, too, there are plenty of ways to travel and save money – and take great photos in the process. “You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on plane tickets and an expensive resort to receive the benefits of a vacation,” Romanoff adds.
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When to turn off social media
How do you not fall prey to thirst? It’s easier said than done but doable.
- Turn off social media or unfollow those who upset you (or follow body-positive accounts to shift your perspective). “If the posts evoke irrational jealousy, embarrassment and shame, you should probably turn off social media for a bit,” Khurana says.
- Talk to friends. Venting away your petty frustrations to a trusted friend is always an option.
- Seek professional help from a therapist. Doomscrolling so much that you’re missing out on your life is a bad sign. And “if it does cross over into feeling depressed, then important to reach out to a licensed professional and worst case scenario, if it contributes to somebody feeling suicidal, then to reach out to a suicide hotline,” Granet says.
- Don’t expect anyone else to cater to your needs. People will post whatever they want. Consider this mantra: “It’s my responsibility to figure out what’s coming up with me, and how do I need to work through that,” Tucker says.
Remember that at the end of the day, people are people. That same person flaunting their body also eats, sleeps and breathes like you. As Romanoff says: “We are evaluating these photos as if they are the standard for how others are living, instead of realizing that those very people who inspire envy on social media also have their nights in sweatpants.”
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