Rock-a-bye-bye to this bizarre book.
There’s nearly no sweeter sight than a mother comforting her child with a lovely lullaby and gentle snuggle.
But when the child has a five o’clock shadow and a 401K, the cutesy scene becomes kind of cringe-worthy — so says New York mama and blogger Marlene Kern Fischer.
“I know that many of you will consider my words blasphemous. However, I can no longer hide my true feelings,” began Fischer, 60, a mom of three adult sons, from Armonk, NY, in a blog post rant she, too, shared on Facebook. “I hate the book ‘Love You Forever.’”
The object of her ire, a 1986 children’s tale by Robert Munsch, spotlights the codependent connection between a mother and son, who are eternally bonded by a cuddly cradle song. Munsch, 78, penned the tome in remembrance of his two stillborn babies.
And although Fischer’s experienced a similar tragedy, the brunette told The Post she finds the much-beloved book off-putting rather than uplifting.
“I too suffered a neonatal loss 34 years ago,” she revealed. “I received this book as a gift when my second son was born and…I found it so sad.”
“There I was a new mom, seeing my entire life flash before my eyes.”
In her tongue-in-cheek review of the cherished kiddie lit, Fischer gave her digital readers a snarky summary of the fictional mother and son’s journey.
“The book starts out with a new mom rocking her baby to sleep by singing, ‘I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be,’” she wrote in the critique, conceding, however, that the imagery was “kind of sweet.”
But when the storybook heroine continued the twee tradition into her tot’s teenage years, it nearly drove the no-nonsense New Yorker nuts.
“When my boys were teens, if they had caught me rocking them, they would have gone ballistic and probably screamed, ‘WTF?’ before putting a lock on their door,” wrote Fischer.
“How did this teenager not wake up? Did the mother drug him?,” she questioned. “And who would wait up until the wee hours of the morning until their son fell asleep (after playing Fortnite) to rock them?.”
The grandmother of one expressed her even deeper ick towards the well-meaning, albeit domineering mom when she broke into her adult son’s home to lull him to sleep at night.
“Does he not have a significant other? Or has the mother ruined any chance of him finding a partner by her bizarre behavior,” penned a freaked-out Fischer. “Did she scare a few companions off — ‘Oh excuse me, please move over so that I can pick up your boyfriend/husband and rock him?.’”
“Does no one else find this incredibly unsettling????,” she asked.
Yamalis Diaz, a child and adolescent psychologist with NYU Langone Health, told The Post that a mother can enjoy affectionate relationships with her adult children so long as certain limitations are set.
“Parents are responsible for establishing developmentally appropriate boundaries that set the child up to learn and practice important skills in every area of development,” said Diaz, “which include learning to self-soothe, falling asleep on their own, developing healthy relationships with peers and eventually their romantic partners.”
“In this example,” she continued of Munsch’s novel, “the mom is overstepping developmentally-appropriate parent-child separation [practices], and is likely interrupting the young man’s development in those areas.”
But hotheads on Facebook begged to differ.
“I love this book and always will. People need to stop making everything ‘weird.’ It’s meant to be innocent, let’s leave it there,” scolded a stunned social media user.
“You must not be from a tight-knit family. At 50, I still love to lay my head on my dad’s chest and hear his heartbeat,” barked an equally offended commenter. “All of my friends are losing parents and children ( to death, college, etc.) and those connections mean more to me than ever before.”
“I mean no one gets upset about Goldie Locks breaking and entering, stealing porridge and sleeping in random bears’ beds!,” quipped a separate mom. “Clearly children’s books are not meant to be taken SO literally lol. This boy reminds me so much of my sons and it’s so special to me.”
However, a faction of folks online found Fischer’s take refreshing.
“I agree with you. It’s never sat well with me. I also don’t like the cover,” chimed a cyber supporter.
“I have never read this book but after hearing what it’s about I’m pretty sure I would think the same thoughts as you,” another teased.
Fischer, however, wasn’t at all bothered by the harsh reactions her controversial thoughts on the matter garnered from the sorely split internet.
“People have strong opinions these days, and they are not afraid to share them,” she explained to The Post. “I think they thought that I was saying a mom’s love is not forever. Which I certainly was not.”
“I show my affection towards my sons and daughters-in-law in so many ways,” Fisher added. “I listen to them, whenever they want to chat. I encourage, advise, and show up when they need me.”
“But not with a ladder.”
Munsch’s illustrated title ends with the elderly, sickly mom requesting that her son rock and serenade her as she succumbs to her illness. But rather than grief, Fischer felt relief.
“Instead of feeling sorry for the old mom,” she wrote in her unflinching appraisal, “I was just glad that she was finally leaving her son alone so that he could have his own child and continue their creepy family tradition.”
