Clarkson’s Farm (Prime), normally a jolly romp through the travails of what to do with a 1,000-acre hobby farm, had a shock in store for fans this week – about much-loved farm hand Gerald. It was a bolt from the blue Cotswold skies.
It’s bizarre how attached you can become to someone off a TV show. Such is the nature of reality TV. But this seemed different, especially for Jeremy Clarkson who wouldn’t have a show without his trio of straight men — Kaleb, Charlie, and Gerald.
They bring such character and laughter to the series. Clarkson’s announcement was genuine and heartfelt. This can be difficult for one so used to living life with a devil-may-care attitude.
It was an extraordinary moment at the end of episode one of season three. Clarkson, sitting in tractor, was undoubtedly shocked, turning slightly to the camera, to make the announcement to the audience, with some disbelief.
It was already an emotional episode. Earlier, one of their favourite cows, Pepper, was sent to the place whose name we dare not utter: the abattoir! Jeremy and girlfriend Lisa, stood back to camera to hide the tears, as Pepper, made the slow journey to steak dinner notoriety in a nearby gastro pub. She’s got the name for it.
It’s brutal living off the land, even for TV stars it seems but for the sake of a good TV scene, it’s convenient for them to forget that. I’m not saying anything is faked; Clarkson can get teary over farm machinery. Just look at his love for the Lamborghini tractor? It’s not right. Nor is £5,000 for a service. That shows real love to pay that bill.
Elsewhere, Clarkson’s Farm resident co-star Kaleb was promoted to “manager”, something he looked genuinely delighted about. The man who had never been to London has come into his own on this show, with the potential to carry his own series. He must look at Jeremy Clarkson and wonder: “I think I deserve 1000-acre farm in the Cotswolds.” We can all dream I suppose, but it’s now the preserve now of hedge fund owners, and footballers.
Kaleb’s reward? He will have to contend with one of Clarkson’s annoying one-to-one competitions in which the top boss always wins. Funny that.
Clarkson remains a gift to marketing. Perhaps that will be his epitaph. His name for his own pork was “Piggly Squat”. That’s a winner — except for Charlie who is eternally cast as the farm naysayer.
Get well soon, Gerald. We can’t wait to hear those dulcet tones again.
The Tattooist of Auschwitz (Sky Atlantic, Wed) was a remarkable piece of television. Not for the love story at its heart, or even the performances (notably Harvey Keitel) which are superb but as a showcase of the summary brutality meted out. A prisoner only had to trip up, to be beaten soundly around the head, collapse and be taken away.
The drama was also a timely reminder not only of the appalling conditions in which Jews were transported, but also the chilling scale of the camp. How could such a thing be conceived by a fellow human being?
Finally, how did writer Heather Morris remember the story without a single note? It’s unforgettable.
I caught up this week with Red King (Alibi, Wed), a bizarre, dark comedy on a remote island with a top-line cast which rather outweighed the story.
It featured Marc Warren, as GP and “town drunk”, Mark Lewis Smith as town bigot, and Bridgerton’s Adjoa Andoh as another spirited lady.
The series should really take its inspiration from TV policeman Hamish Macbeth (Robert Carlyle) and his little dog Wee Jock. Drop the macabre masks and do nice stories about missing pets, and you’ve got a hit.
And what sort of series starts with nasty police officers singing a disliked colleague out of the building, before she witnessed another policeman throw himself off a building? A slightly unreal one.
The big word-of-mouth series is Baby Reindeer (Netflix), which is number one in the streaming charts. Don’t immediately rush for the remote. It is not suited to all tastes. It’s quite rude, and your great aunt would leave the room promptly if she saw some of the scenes.
That said, it is totally addictive from the start as a Donny (Richard Gadd) goes to police to report a stalking incident involving Martha (Jessica Gunning).
This is a “true story”, created and written by Gadd, was based on his one-man show, much like Fleabag.
Donny is a nice, friendly chap, who is drawn into an emotional mire with Martha.
He tells his own story as narrator. He’s completely honest about his indifferent success as a stand-up comedian, with many audiences sitting there grim-faced — and they don’t know the half of it.
Jessica Gunning turns in one of the performances of the year.
