It took three songs for my friend to bolt into the concourse.
Bryan Adams was just leaning into the chunky guitar riff of “Somebody” when my exasperated date waved his hands in annoyance. As he stood up, he mouthed, “I don’t know how you deal with this.”
“This” at Adams’ tour opener in Baltimore referred to the couple in front of us, blithely scrolling Instagram and Facebook, screens bright in the darkness, oblivious to the group of musicians a few dozen yards away sweating through a parade of hits.
“This” was also the talkers, the up-and-downers and the general buzz of activity that had nothing to do with the concert taking place.
“This” is how people – not all people, but those possessed by the Zero Regard for Others gene – attend concerts.
Now that live music has roared back to surpass pre-pandemic levels, it feels as if some have forgotten about civility and common sense, regardless of venue or artist as evidenced by Ava Max (slapped on stage in June) or Miranda Lambert (we’ll get to her bravery later).
As I told my friend – who was there primarily for opener Joan Jett – these outings are no longer about the performer you paid hundreds of dollars to see and hear.
It’s now the all-about-me experience at a show.
If you care to argue that point, then maybe you’re part of the problem.
The worst people at concerts
If you aren’t sure what constitutes self-involvement, allow me to share some of my favorites from recent months – never mind my other 26 years of professional concert-going, when the biggest irritation used to be the stench from the joint that some dude behind you smuggled into the venue.
- Holding your phone three feet above your head to film an entire concert while blocking the view of the not-particularly-tall person behind you (Adele in Las Vegas … and every other concert in the history of smartphones).
- Wearing a hat roughly the width of Montana in a tiny, general admission standing show (Foo Fighters at The Atlantis).
- Drunkenly shouting – repeatedly and belligerently – to your concert companions to “turn around and pose” for a photo during someone’s favorite song (Stevie Nicks, “If Anyone Falls,” with Billy Joel at Lincoln Financial Field).
- Drunkenly staggering through a tight, standing room crowd waving your phone in the air – all while recording, which surely resulted in some stellar video (Måneskin, The House of X).
- Repeatedly screaming “You sing it, girl!” over the quietest ballad from the 22nd row of a cavernous amphitheater (Janet Jackson, “Again,” Jiffy Lube Live).
- Sitting about 10 feet from the performer in dim lighting and perusing shopping sites on your phone with the screen at maximum brightness (Graham Nash, The Birchmere).
- Coming to your seat equipped with a tablet-sized selfie flash and yes, taking photos with this mini strobe light during the concert (Beyoncé, Lincoln Financial Field).
None of this is new behavior. People have been drunk, high, loud and stupid at concerts since Steven Tyler was perfecting his patented yowl in the womb. But lately, not even the hallowed artist can escape the boorish behavior of some concertgoers. Who thought Pink, Drake, Kelsea Ballerini and Harry Styles would share something in common, like the art of dodging incoming items being chucked at them onstage?
It’s dangerous, pointless and thoroughly self-involved.
A fitting goodbye: Elton John plays his final Farewell Yellow Brick Road show
Seriously, put the phone away
But let’s get back to audience-on-audience stupidity, which has only been exacerbated by technology.
The common aggravating denominator at most shows is still, in some capacity, smartphones.
It’s one thing to take a quick photo with a friend before or after the concert, shoot a short video of a treasured song or rip off a text during a show – I admit to doing all of those things when the environment is appropriate. But the endless filming, view-blocking and selfie-taking has become so customary, we’ve resigned ourselves to accept it.
Except for my hero Miranda Lambert, who pointedly reprimanded a few fans for taking selfies in the middle of her acoustic ballad “Tin Man” during a recent show at her Las Vegas residency.
Of course some concertgoers promptly walked out after the exchange because, you know, entitlement.
Imagine the howls of protests if asked to sever the umbilical cord between hand and smartphone at concerts. Oh, but wait, that does happen on occasion with artists savvy enough to utilize Yondr bags at their shows (bless you, Garth Brooks and Bono).
I laughed to myself at an overheard conversation at a restaurant when one patron, explaining this new bag phenomenon to his dining companions, lamented that with his phone in a Yondr bag, “You can hear it ringing, but you can’t do anything about it.”
Yes, genius. That’s why you’re told at least 358 times before sealing the phone in the bag to turn it off. And even if you can hear it ringing but can’t do anything about it, so what? The earth will continue to spin and you’ll see your precious missed call in 90 minutes or so. If it’s that important, maybe you shouldn’t be at a concert.
I’d guess the majority of attendees are secretly thrilled to have a forced disconnect with their device for a few hours, even if it means missing the chance to clog up their hard drive with hundreds of photos and videos they’ll never watch.
But until that becomes the norm – hello, never – we continue to contend with unnecessary intrusions.
You paid good money to see live music, now live in the moment
My friend asked how I deal with all of “this” and the answer is, it’s my job, I realize it is a privilege to attend concerts in the name of a paycheck and I happen to love the electric feeling that comes from live music.
But I’m also tired of the distractions. Tired of the expectation of annoyance. Tired of that expectation always being met. Tired of the phones and the posing and the idiotic random yelling. But mostly, I’m tired of having nearly every concert experience marred by rampant arrogance.
I’m sure I’m not alone.
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