Religion, your faith and how it impacts your sex life

Can sex be sacred?

Some people are beginning to embrace the idea. You can now find faith-based sex therapists, and there a plethora of religious sex-ed books, including guidebooks aimed at helping religious couples have better sex.

Even some Catholic Pre-Cana classes (required premarital courses before tying the knot) now include more comprehensive views of sex. In a recent documentary, the Pope himself said sex is “one of the beautiful things God gave human beings.”

“To express oneself sexually is something rich… It exists for a reason. It’s an expression of love. That’s probably the core of sexual activity,” Pope Francis said in a wide-ranging documentary titled “The Pope: Answers.”

“Sex is one of the beautiful things that God gave human beings,” said Pope Francis in The Pope: Answers. He even admitted that the Catholic Church has a long way to go when it comes to embracing human sexuality, saying that her “catechesis on sex is still in diapers.”

How faith impacts sex therapy

This is a paradigm-shift in our approach to religion and sexuality. These days, sex therapy is so widely accepted that you can not only easily find a sex therapist, but you can find one who shares your faith.

This is heartening for many reasons. One, it means that we have finally embraced the importance of therapy and sexual health, and two, it means that religious organizations have begun to shift away from shame.

One of the main obstacles I’ve faced as a sex therapist is helping my clients overcome their sexual shame. No matter their faith, many people with religious backgrounds have come to me feeling ashamed of their sexual urges and their sexual needs. Women in particular struggle with this shame, having been taught that “good girls” don’t like sex and only submit to their husbands as a marital duty. And men aren’t free from this early programming either.

It’s important to talk about sex in the context of religion

But slowly, we are moving toward change.

Healthy discussion of sexuality in religious organizations won’t just improve the sex lives of men and women. It will help foster conversations about consent and the importance of using sexual protection. Comprehensive sex education (as opposed to abstinence-only sex education) has been shown to reduce teen pregnancy, and bringing this education into churches and religious events can empower young people to make better choices.

It can also help to foster inclusion and reduce rates of bullying, self-harm and suicide. When religious organizations accept their members regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, the world becomes a brighter, happier place.

Remember, sex and spirituality don’t have to be mutually exclusive, and sex isn’t dirty or shameful. Regardless of your religious beliefs, or even if you have none, your sexuality and your body are sacred and yours to enjoy and protect.