One man has asked the internet if he “jumped the gun” on telling his wife they were getting a divorce after she asked him to consider an open marriage.
The man took to Reddit’s Marriage forum and explained he has been married to his wife for 12 years and the relationship “has always been great without any particular ups or downs” until this conversation.
He wrote: “My wife has always been a kind, sweet woman, and up until this I thought the world of her. And then she went and broached the talk about open marriage.”
An open marriage is a non-monogamous marriage in which people date other people while being married.
According to the man, his wife said she wanted to open up their marriage because “all her friends did it” and “it’s 2024” while the man did not say anything and just listened.
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The man wrote: “I just listened and offered my counters. I asked if her friends were influencing her into this, and she said no. I asked if she already had someone in mind, and she said no.
“I asked her to give me some time to think about and she agreed, stating we don’t have to do it if I’m not up for it. I shouldn’t have, but in the days after I checked her phone and laptop, and nothing suspicious that suggests she was cheating already.”
However, after a week of thinking about it, the man told his wife “She can date anyone she wants” because he now wanted a divorce.
He wrote: “Cue the sobbing, the begging and all ‘if I knew I wouldn’t have even asked.’
“She refuses to move out and so do I, so I sleep in the guest room. She’s taken sick from work and every time I am home she keeps begging me to talk and go back to the bedroom with her.
“I believe her friends actually tried to influence her and she didn’t do anything at all, but this unraveled my perception of her.”
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In the comment section, many popular comments from users told the man they believed he was doing the right thing in leaving his wife.
One user said: “You almost never see a relationship start monogamous, open up, and succeed, and there’s a reason for that. If my wife suggested opening my marriage that’s where I would go too.”
Another commentator wrote: “‘Let’s have an open marriage, it’s [current year], after all!’ is the most insane take imaginable. At the very, very least, she’s shown herself to have incredibly poor judgment and be very easily influenced.”
Someone else asked the man if he still trusted his wife and if he would consider talking to his wife before separating, to which the man responded: “What more there’s talk to? Trust is gone on both sides. We are done.”
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However, the man has recently posted an update post on the forum and said he was moving on with the divorce as his wife had admitted to having an affair.
He wrote: “I wasn’t jumping the gun. She was cheating, emotionally and planning to do so physically. I checked her phone and computer and found nothing. But she came forward with a second phone I had no idea she even had.
“She thought I already knew, that’s why she came out with it. Just as I was starting to regret my decision. Her friends sweet-talked her into it, apparently, those ‘open marriages are just their affairs.”
In his final comment, the man explained that his wife was begging for a second chance and he had “foolishly” told her there was a chance, but he still believed going forward with the divorce was the right thing to do.
He wrote: “I don’t want to leave her, but I have to for the sake of my dignity, pride and self-respect. That I love her has become irrelevant.”
