Dame Esther Rantzen fears this will be her last spring as she fights terminal cancer.
The assisted dying campaigner is battling for the right to end her life as she chooses, but said the spectre of death looms large.
Yesterday, the Commons Health and Social Care Committee published its long-awaited report on assisted dying but refused to recommend that Parliament debates and votes on the issue.
It means assisted dying remains illegal and punishable as murder or manslaughter.
Speaking on Today, on BBC Radio 4 yesterday, Dame Esther, 83, said: “My life would be completely different if I was absolutely confident I could have a painless death surrounded by my loved ones and if palliative care wasn’t working for me then I could ask to be put out of my misery.
“It’s my choice and if I choose it then I think the law should allow me to.”
She added: “It’s a constant background to everything I do. I am watching the spring flowers come up thinking this is probably my last spring.
“When I talk to my grandchildren when they come and visit me I am very aware these moments are precious. They may be the last moments they have of me, so my own death is constantly in my mind.”
A petition launched by Dame Esther calling for a Parliamentary debate and free vote has been signed by more than 135,000 people. The inquiry, chaired by Tory MP Steve Brine, received more than 68,000 public responses and nearly 400 pieces of written evidence since it launched in December 2022.
Polling shows more than 80% of people wants the right to end their lives as they see fit. Yet the top-level Commons committee’s review made no recommendation for a vote on the issue. Assisted dying for the terminally ill is legal in some US states, Australia, Switzerland and New Zealand.
Dame Esther, diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in January last year, called the report “disappointing”.
She added: “I am very disheartened indeed there is no recommendation that there is an urgent need for the current law to be changed.
“It puts loving families at risk. There must be a debate in Parliament, followed by a free vote as soon as possible.
“I’m not demanding everybody agrees with me, I’m just saying let’s debate all the issues now we know the public attitude
is in favour.”
Grandmother-of-five Dame Esther is campaigning with charity Dignity in Dying and the Daily Express for a law change which would give all individuals the right to die as they see fit. As the law stands, her children – Rebecca, Joshua and Miriam – could face prosecution should they accompany their mother on her final journey to Switzerland, where she has signed up to the Dignitas clinic. Yesterday Rebecca, 43, described Britain’s approach to assisted dying as “prehistoric”.
The mother of two said: “We could follow Switzerland’s example. We want mum to have the option of assisted dying so our memories of her are not replaced by this traumatic awful demise. It’s all about her for us.”
Chancellor Jeremy Hunt and Foreign Office minister Andrew Mitchell indicated they would vote to allow assisted dying if given the chance.
