Hell hath no fury like Keke fans scorned.
The internet pounced on Keke Palmer’s boyfriend Darius Jackson after he recently criticized the way she dressed. Palmer, 29, attended Usher’s Las Vegas residency on Wednesday, wearing a black bodysuit under a sheer dress.
In a video circulating on social media, Usher is seen serenading Palmer with his song “There Goes My Baby.” As he sang, the duo hugged and swayed to the music. Palmer, a fellow singer, also had a brief turn at the mic.
“It’s the outfit tho.. you a mom,” Palmer’s boyfriend and father of their son, Leodis, commented on Twitter in response to the clip. Jackson doubled down, later tweeting, “We live in a generation where a man of the family doesn’t want the wife & mother to his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others & he gets told how much of a hater he is.”
“This is my family & my representation,” he continued. “I have standards & morals to what I believe. I rest my case.” (The account is now gone.)
Critics leapt to Palmer’s defense. “If Usher sings to your wife in Vegas and she still comes home to you and your baby, YOU’VE WON,” a Twitter user wrote. “Stop complaining.” Another added: “Publicly calling out the mother of your child on Twitter is crazy. Especially if she’s Keke Palmer.”
Experts decried Jackson’s behavior as sexist, and pointed out the consequences of such attitudes and behaviors.
“The fact that Jackson shamed Palmer in public confirms that he believes it is acceptable to treat a woman, even the ‘mother to his kids,’ with a lack of respect,” says Leora Tanenbaum, author of “I Am Not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet.”
Darius Jackson’s ‘extremely problematic’ behavior toward Keke Palmer
Women have long been treated unfairly in society.
Scrutiny typically begins in adolescence, when girls’ bodies begin to change and mature. We see it in the tropes on TV – a father rushing to cover up a teenage daughter in a bathing suit – or in the moralizing around what clothes are appropriate for young women to wear.
“U.S. culture has a long history of scrutinizing, pathologizing and policing the sexuality of women, particularly Black women, as well as directing similar scrutiny at mothers,” says Erin Hipple, licensed clinical social worker. It’s particularly true for wives and mothers.
“(Jackson’s) attitude towards family is extremely problematic,” says Annalisa Castaldo, associate professor of English at Widener University “He said in a tweet ‘this is my family & my representation’ which means he sees Palmer as an extension of him rather than as an autonomous, whole person. That kind of thinking excuses and leads to controlling behavior and even abuse.”
What’s more, it seems “he would have been fine if Palmer had worn the same outfit… (if) she didn’t have children,” Tanenbaum says.
She adds: “This kind of thinking is sexist and harmful to women … It suggests that only women who are asexual or sexual within a marriage deserve to be treated with respect, and that other women do not.”
‘I have standards’Keke Palmer’s boyfriend doubles down amid backlash for criticizing her outfit
‘An impossible double standard’
Perhaps Jackson’s actions grew from insecurity. “Imagine seeing your mate being serenaded by Usher, knowing that you cannot compete with him (Usher),” says Zakiya M. Knighten, relationship strategist. “One of the traits of insecurity is comparison. He also felt disrespected.”
Regardless, women face “an impossible double standard,” Castaldo says. She adds: “They are supposed to be sexy at all times, but not too sexy. Note how many of the supposedly supportive tweets focus on how attractive her body is – this suggests that if she was 50 pounds heavier, the outfit would be inappropriate.”
So, how does one get away from this way of thinking?
Marya T. Mtshali, a lecturer in Studies of Women, Gender and Sexuality at Harvard University, previously told USA TODAY a good first step for change is being aware of unconsciously internalized sexist ideas.
“We are all socialized in the same society, so (women also experience) internalized sexism and internalized misogyny,” she said. “We have to do this internal work… to try to figure out the ways in which (we) hold these biases.”
And maybe it’s best to stay off Twitter.
“If Keke’s boyfriend wanted to express his feelings about her clothes to her in the spirit of strengthening their relationship, Twitter doesn’t feel like the place to do it,” Hipple says. “Deciding to shame her publicly feels like an attempt to assert his power over her, whether that was his intention or not.”
Contributing: Naledi Ushe, Alia E. Dastagir and Sara M. Moniuszko
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