Dr. Catalina Lawsin
We have all long heard the term “sexual prime,” more often than not referring to someone young. But contrary to popular belief, the pleasure of sex doesn’t decrease as we age. In fact, many individuals in their 40s, 50s and beyond are enjoying satisfying sex lives that contribute to their overall happiness and well-being.
Here’s why: Our body image, control, assertiveness and confidence develop as we mature. These factors significantly enhance our experiences of intimacy, connection and pleasure.
In fact, research shows while the frequency of sexual activity may naturally decrease as we age, the quality of sex and overall satisfaction actually improve. Thus, it’s not about how often you have sex or achieve orgasms − it’s about the quality of the connection you establish with your partner.
If that hasn’t been your experience, that’s OK. First things first: You have to accept your aging body and that of your partner.
No, your body isn’t broken and you can still have great sex
Life changes bring novelty to our sex lives, but that doesn’t mean it’s always a comfortable or smooth path. Illness, hormonal shifts and stressful experiences can impact our sexual well-being, physically and emotionally.
Vaginal pain, erectile dysfunction, and decreased libido are common concerns as we age. Emotionally, these changes can challenge our perception of ourselves, our bodies and our relationships. If you’ve experienced any of these things, know that they are natural parts of aging and that you are not alone.The good news is that even with health conditions like cardiovascular disease, cancer, chronic pain or menopause, sexual satisfaction is entirely within your reach. While sex may be the last thing on your mind, sexual activity can make us feel younger and stronger. It boosts endorphins, improves cardiac function, mood, sleep and energy levels.
Moreover, the emotional intimacy fostered through sex fuels relationships and combats loneliness, making our sexual well-being essential to overall well-being
Follow these tips for sensational sex as you age
- How sexually satisfied are you? Take time to process the physical and emotional changes you’ve experienced with compassion. Consider what you would like to be different and prioritize your own satisfaction. Explore what brings you pleasure and create a truly fulfilling experience.
- Assert your needs, wants and desires. Feel entitled to communicate what brings you pleasure. Gain confidence by expressing your needs to your partner, fostering a deeper connection and enhancing sexual experiences.
- Give your body the attention it deserves. Explore advances in medications, lubricants and sex aids to overcome physical challenges. Schedule sexual activity during times when you feel most energized and least in pain. Consult your physician to address any sexual side effects of your medications.
- Define sex beyond intercourse to include caressing, foreplay and massage. Openly communicate with your partner about desires, fears and boundaries, and don’t shy away from taking the lead.
- Remind yourself that age is not a barrier. The myths surrounding sexual prime are just that − myths. Embrace the willingness to explore, and keep in mind that every new sexual encounter will offer a fresh opportunity to have the best sex of your life.
Pleasure and intimacy know no age limits, so let go of any doubts and embrace the joy of sexual connection. After all, you’re old enough to make up your own rules.
Dr. Catalina Lawsin, PhD is a licensed psychologist who has been supporting sex and relationships for the past 23 years as a professor, researcher and clinician. Dr. Catalina offers support in her private practice, group programs and public talks. You can connect with Dr. Catalina @TheIntimacyDoc on TikTok, IG or TheIntimacyDoc.com
