When I was in recovery battling mental health issues years ago, dance became an important part of my healing process. With each step on the dance floor, my depression dissipated and my spirit was uplifted. I’m not the only one. Ballroom dancing has been a haven for the Asian American and Pacific Islander community in the Los Angeles area for many years.
But on the festive night of Jan. 21, Lunar New Year’s Eve, a night of celebration to welcome the spring and a new beginning, the unthinkable happened. At Star Ballroom Dance Studio, a gunman entered and started shooting at everybody inside.
I was 10 feet away, and I will never forget the sound of the 42 gunshots done within minutes and the sound of people falling to the ground. I will never forget seeing so many people lying there covered in blood. When I got up, I realized to my horror that many of those killed and wounded were my friends.
This shooter had killed 11 people and wounded nine with a semi-automatic weapon equipped with a high-capacity magazine and what appears to be a sound suppressor. This allowed him to fire 30 bullets quickly in one round before he reloaded and fired 12 more shots.
Traumatic effects of gun violence
It’s a haunting memory that I and many others will have to live with for the rest of our lives, and the aftereffects are enormous. For weeks, I had nightmares, could not sleep and was afraid of the dark, each time I relived that night. It’s a memory that no one else should have.
Five months later, the traumatic effects on us are still there. I have anxiety and fear. I have isolated myself more and more. This is why I put together a WeChat group of 20 to 30 survivors so we can check on each other. Some have been unable to work. I still have been unable to dance. We all still need help.
We have learned that two weeks before the shooting, the 72-year-old gunman was displaying troubling behavior. He went into a police station alleging that his family tried to poison him. He was known to have anger issues, according to his ex-wife.
In 1990, he was arrested for unlawful possession of a firearm, but nothing stopped him in 1999 from acquiring the gun he used in the shooting. He modified it with an extended magazine and used it to kill and harm my friends.
We need change.
We need to educate our Asian American immigrant communities about red flag laws, which allow courts to remove firearms from those deemed a threat to themselves or others, in multiple languages. English isn’t always the primary language for many of us, yet so many of us can help to stop people like this.
President Biden:I’m doing everything I can to reduce gun violence, but Congress must do more
We need more funding to destigmatize mental health in our AAPI communities so that people who are struggling emotionally and psychologically can get the help they need before they turn to violence.
Most important, we need a federal ban on assault weapons and large-capacity magazines to protect innocent Americans from getting killed by weapons of war that have no place in everyday life.
As my community continues to heal, we must not let the agenda of the gunman, whatever it was, prevail. We will try to continue to dance and return to our normal lives. And we must protect our community from future tragedies caused by gun violence.
June is National Gun Violence Awareness Month. Just this past holiday weekend, more than a dozen people were killed and dozens injured in a string of mass shootings across the United States. This month and every month until we get it done, I urgently ask Congress to enhance our red flag laws, to support our mental needs, and to get rid of the assault weapons and high-capacity magazines across this country.
Lloyd Gock is a small business owner from Alhambra, California.
