Coffee is a staple in the UK, with Brits often flocking to popular chains like Starbucks or Costa for their cherished cappuccino, flat white or latte. However, it seems most of us coffee enthusiasts tend to prefer a lighter and creamier brew to a robust black coffee or potent coffee bean.
Adam Cailler, a self-styled coffee connoisseur and senior reporter, decided to step out of his usual Costa comfort zone to delve into the realm of distinctive, single-origin beans and artisanal roasts. He wrote on the Daily Star: “While doom-scrolling on Instagram one day, an advert popped up for what can only be described as ‘death coffee’… and I knew I had to give it a go, purely for journalistic purposes, of course. Crafted by the coffee gurus at Rave, this ‘strong and fun’ blend is touted as being ‘roasted to death’ and even sports five skull faces on its packaging.
“It also bears the ominous blend number 666, with tasting notes of dark chocolates, toasted nuts and… erm… victory.”
The official blurb states: “Fancy the spiciest Hot Sauce? The fieriest horseradish? The most pungent mustard? Well, this new blend might just tickle your fancy. We’ve roasted this coffee as dark as we could without setting our roaster ablaze? Only for the brave, consider yourself warned.”
Priced at £7.95 for a 250g bag, he chose the whole bean variant, allowing him to grind it himself and fully savour the experience. He shared: “Upon opening the bag, you’re greeted with a smell akin to a barbecue which has been left on after you’ve finished it with just bits of meat being burned to a crisp.”
“Grinding it only intensifies this smell, and it started to become like petrol — not in smell, but in that weird way where you know you love the smell but shouldn’t admit to it. Having poured an espresso shot of it, I was in two minds as to whether to down it in one or sip it.
“Then I remembered I wanted to stay alive, so a sip of it is what I took. And just like that, all the moisture left my mouth and my hopes and dreams died with it. It was the single most intense sip of coffee I’ve ever had pass through my lips and all I could taste was the bitterness of despair.
“No dark chocolate, no toasted nuts and definitely no victory was being realised here. However, I then added a teaspoon of sugar to it and suddenly the UK’s darkest coffee actually became somewhat of an enjoyable experience, where I started to feel like I was trying a quality bottle of red wine.”
Adam concluded: “The tasting notes are accurate, and it tasted like a bar of 85% dark chocolate with a hint of toasted walnuts. It also had a faint honey note, which made it really enjoyable.
“I would not make this my daily morning coffee, as I feel like I’d turn into some kind of hyperactive teenager who never leaves their basement and spends all day gaming and buying bitcoin. But as a one-off special cup that I could enjoy after a long, hard day at work? Absolutely.”