Ever seen Avatar? You know…The film about the blue people who bond with an animal they can fly around on?
Well for those who have: I can confirm that I have successfully paired with the vehicular version of my Avatar spirit animal. And for those who haven’t seen it, put simply, I have found my car soul connection.
For many years I have had a somewhat leftfield love of old green Land Rovers. It’s odd, I know, as l nothing about cars.
I’m the kind that leaves it far too late to renew MOTs, tax and driving licences – and have also (embarrassingly) run out of fuel on a motorway. Oh and I passed my test on the fifth try. But this adoration of the aesthetics of old-style green Land Rovers has endured. Blame the late Queen or lifestyle mags depicting farmyard fun.
Of course I’ve been told by many who DO understand car stuff that in no circumstances am I to think about buying one of these vehicles. Unreliable. Uneconomical. Gas guzzlers.
For the past few years I have mainly relied on the train for my daily commute. That and lifts from colleagues, which at 42 made me feel like a wayward teenager. But after a recent change in circumstances, public transport and the kindness of friends could no longer be relied on. I needed a car.
“Punto or Yaris,” reckoned the font of all motoring knowledge – my dad.
And of course, there is the important matter of eco credentials – perhaps I should be splashing out on an electric car? The truth is I needed a cheap runabout and I wasn’t in the market for a £50,000 model (the average cost of an electric car in the UK) that would mainly be sitting on my driveway.
It was then I started on my AutoTrader quest for my dream car. Unfortunately, my meagre budget of £4,000 didn’t stretch to an old Defender – which, by the way, have absolutely skyrocketed in price. But after a couple of nights, my avid search bore its first fruit. A 2000 Discovery located in a nearby village.
Off I went to check out a car, despite woefully lacking in car-checking-out capabilities. The guy who answered the door looked bemused.
“Oooh there’s a wheel on the boot!” I squealed, whilst the bloke faithfully recounted its service history like a true Land Rover evangelist.
“I take it camping in the Lakes and just yesterday it went to Whitby and back,” he proudly recounted.
“Where would you be taking it?” he asked politely.
“Aldi?” I mused.
After much umming, ahhing, and trying to cut him down in price, I left on the proviso I’d be back in touch. But there had been talk of ABS lights and not passing MOTs.
With a big sigh, it was back to the search. Lo and behold I didn’t have to wait until another AutoTrader mirage appeared.
A 2006 Discovery. Definitely less of a vintage vibe but green (of course) and well within budget at £3,500.
“I’ll take it!” I said almost instantaneously on the garage forecourt. It really was love at first sight.
Despite it being 18 years old (older than any other car I’ve ever driven) I have made what I think to be quite impressive discoveries: It has Bluetooth. At first, I discounted it as kind of like a third nipple that may have once worked with an iPod or some other out-of-date tech. But I was utterly astounded when I found out it did indeed hook up with my iPhone.
And not only that… I got myself onto Land Rover forums (yes I go on those now) with the outlandish hope I could make it play iTunes. And guess what? I spent £6 on a nifty little attachment from Amazon Prime gave me the ability to stream my music straight to its speakers via the v. retro cigarette lighter. Result.
I can report, however, that it does cost an absolute fortune to run. I feel like I’m forever at the petrol station shoving in £50 to pop around the corner. There was also a recent hairy moment when I had the shocking news it’d cost £1200 to scrape it through its MOT: time to write it off?
Absolutely no chance. The green Land Rover stays until it conks out for good. Hopefully not in the middle of the motorway.
