“I’ve been married [for] four years, been with my wife for seven total,” Sebastian told Reddit.
“She’s a wonderful person, we have very similar temperaments and rarely argue, and she’s very attractive.”
When Sebastian started a new job and started meeting more like-minded people, the change in his surroundings highlighted a looming gulf between him and his wife.
“I moved offices within my company and ended up sitting next to a new woman and working on a project with her,” said Sebastian.
“I didn’t take too much notice of her at first, though I did think she was cute.”
Sebastian revealed: “But it quickly became clear that she and I had palpable chemistry.
“I’ve tried to reflect and remember whether I had this kind of chemistry with my wife; I really don’t think that I did.”
Sebastian started to notice that he and his wife don’t connect on a deep level or have meaningful interactions as their interests are disjointed.
“A lot of our time together is spent at a restaurant with nothing to talk about or watching a TV show that I’m not particularly interested in,” Sebastian reflected.
“That’s not to say that we never do anything fun, but on the other hand, it’s often an activity that I might have just as much or more fun doing with another one of my friends.”
Turning his attention to the other woman, Sebastian said: “My coworker and I connect on many different levels, share a lot of the same passions, and have great conversations and laughs together.
“So my coworker and I began spending free time at work together, and later, outside of work.”
The pair started going to dinners together, and he’s now spent some time with her friends.
“She’s very playfully touchy,” said Sebastian. “We also chat online quite a bit, both at work (even though we sit right next to each other) and outside of work.”
While admitting he’s feeling guilty for all the “sneaking around”, he’s keen to point out that the emotional connection hasn’t turned physical… yet.
“I really don’t want to cross that line while still married,” Sebastian assured, adding: “But what I am leaning towards doing is telling my coworker how I really feel…”
He elaborated: “I have strong feelings for her and I realise I have a lot of baggage, but if she feels the same I’m willing to upend my life and give things a chance.”
But Sebastian pondered: “Is this a case of the new woman being new and exciting and will I just get bored again?”
*Names have been changed.
