Here’s the one thing you should never do to a crush: Jana Hocking

Fact: I often use Instagram as a dating tool.

Yes, this small rectangular device that fits into the palm of our hand holds the key to all sorts of hook ups. Sure, dating apps are cute but nothing beats a cheeky slide into the DM’s of your intended crush.

And I am a big believer in doing a bit of research on your potential love match, or one night stand before you catch up.

We can find out how they spend their weekends, what kind of friends they hang out with, their personal style, take a sneak peek at their living space, heck if we scroll deep enough we can even find out what their ex looked like.

But recently I was reminded of the one thing we shouldn’t do on Instagram to a potential crush.

You see, I was on the ‘Backstage with Cooper and Matty Johns’ podcast and they asked if I’ve ever had any creepy experiences with a follower.

After a brief ponder, I remembered the man who was following my Instagram and would occasionally send me messages consisting of fire emojis or compliments. Perfectly fine (and not terrible for the ol’ self-esteem). I never responded and took them as some harmless attempts at flirting.

But then one day I had posted a story of myself at my local pub and he saw it and decided to come and attempt those pick-up lines in real life. Eeek.

Now if I had of responded to his previous attempts or given him any form encouragement, I could almost see how that would be ok.

But I hadn’t. As I walked to the bar to get a drink, I felt someone grab my arm to stop me. I turned around and instantly felt icky.

I was face-to-face with the guy who had been sliding into my DM’s on a fairly regular basis. He said “Hi Jana, I saw you were here so thought I would come and say hi!”

I looked around to see if he was with friends, but he was clearly by himself.

Now shame on me for posting my location while I was still there, but to be fair I didn’t think I should have to worry about that.

Well, it turns out I should have because for the next hour he just kept lingering. I was polite to him but made it clear I wasn’t open to a conversation and firmly stated: “I’m here for a fun day with my friends.”

He didn’t catch on.

He kept trying to sidle into our group. Attempting to chat me up and when that failed, he tried to make conversation with my friends. It was grim.

Eventually we turned to a group of men next to us and asked if we could stand with them. Thankfully they realized why and took the reins from there.

They ushered us in, and anytime the guy attempted to chat to us they politely rebuffed him. Eventually he left.

Now thankfully I never felt in danger, it was just annoying. A small part of me feels a little sorry for the guy because his intentions were harmless, he just thought he would shoot his shot.

The problem is his shot came across as thirsty and a little bit creepy.

So, if you are going to use Instagram as your very own dating app, maybe make sure you’re doing it properly. A cheeky slide into the DMs is fine but don’t do it more than once if they don’t respond. Every girl I know has some guy in her DMs having a conversation with themselves that looks like this:

Also, for the love of God don’t monitor where your crush is located and then just rock up. Have you not watched Baby Reindeer?! Giving stalker vibes is not cute.

You may think it looks innocent and friendly, but it does not. If you like someone, simply ask them out.

It’s up to the other person to decide if they would like to meet you in real life or not.

Also, can’t hurt for us all to be a little more careful with what we post on our stories.

Lordy it’s bonkers that I must even say that, but I guess that’s the world we’re living in now.