Most people now reach for their phones after sex (Image: Getty)
In the past, the classic post-coital cigarette would slow things down, but this is fast fading into history – with smokers now far more likely to check their phones than light up after sex, new research reveals. A poll of 2,126 adults – including 1,000 current or former smokers – found just 8 per cent still reach for a cigarette after intimacy, while one in six now turn to their phones instead.
Only 29 per cent regularly enjoy pillow talk, while 22 per cent rarely or never do. Instead, 38 per cent simply fall asleep and 18 per cent get up to tidy. Men are especially prone to digital distractions, with 13 per cent admitting their first instinct is to check their phone after sex – more than triple the rate of women (4 per cent).
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Nearly half of those who have had casual sex say they leave immediately afterwards to avoid emotional discomfort. Yet, most people say they would feel more connected to a partner through a post-sex chat.
The study, commissioned by nicotine pouch brand KLAR, teamed up with sex educator and intimacy expert Ruby Rare to help couples rediscover the joy of pillow talk and meaningful moments after sex.
Ruby said: “Our intimate moments are precious, whether with a long-term partner, casual hookup, or in an open relationship. But the research shows they’re often cut short – with many falling asleep, turning to screens, or stepping out for a smoke. And it’s limiting our ability to connect.
“Let’s make more intentional space for conversation in the afterglow: because intimacy post-sex is just as important as the ‘main event’.”
Experts are encouraging Brits make more space for conversation (Image: Getty)
Four in ten agree that today’s society has made intimacy after sex feel rushed and less meaningful, and 44 per cent admit to feeling disconnected when they check their phone post-sex.
Yet more than two thirds say those moments after sex count as real intimacy, with 40 per cent ranking them among the most significant aspects of their relationships and 51 per cent appreciate it when their partner stays for a pillow talk session.
Half of those surveyed say they’re ready to abandon old routines to create a deeper connection with their partner. Sharing emotional conversations and screen-free time are seen as the best ways to enhance the post-sex experience.
Enjoying physical closeness (35 per cent) and expressing affection (32 per cent) also rank highly, as do listening to music together (14 per cent), sharing snacks (13 per cent) or even joint breathwork (10 per cent).
The spokesperson for Klar, said: “We know how easy it is for habits and distractions to cut into moments that matter.
“This research shows that even after something as intimate as sex, many people miss the chance to connect. We want to spark a conversation about slowing down and making space for clarity and closeness in those moments.”
RUBY RARE’S TOP TIPS FOR REDISCOVERING POST-SEX INTIMACY:
1. Start small and open up
Even a few words about how you’re feeling or a simple “that was great” can spark conversation. The vulnerability of the moment makes it easier to open up, often leading to a deeper level of connection.
2. Cuddle it out
Cuddling, the favourite post-sex activity for 42 per cent, it keeps you connected and lets you savour the afterglow. Physical closeness strengthens trust and intimacy beyond words.
3. Put phones aside
Phones can pull you out of the moment. Keeping them away for a few minutes helps you focus entirely on each other and strengthens emotional connection. Or leave your phone out of the bedroom entirely.
4. Pause before cleaning up
Showering or tidying immediately after sex can interrupt intimacy. Waiting a few minutes preserves the afterglow and allows space for conversation or cuddling.
5. Be mindful of habits
If you use nicotine, alcohol, or other routines, pause for a shared moment first. Prioritising your partner reinforces closeness and shows the connection matters.
6. Factor in time for pillow talk
Treat post-sex conversation as non-negotiable. Even five to ten minutes can make a big difference, ensuring it isn’t pushed aside by habits or distractions.
7. Find what works for both of you
Everyone is different. Whether it’s cuddling, chatting, or lying together in silence, listening to each other’s needs and making small adjustments keeps intimacy alive.
