No quiero.
A Florida homeless man was arrested outside a Taco Bell wearing three pairs of pulled-down pants with his “chimichanga” on full display, the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office described in a hilarious accounting of the incident.
An employee of the restaurant called the cops on the perv just before 1 a.m. Friday when it became clear the deranged man wasn’t taking his order to go.
“A man was near the side door of the business with his chimichanga out,” FCSO wrote on Facebook.
When deputies arrived, the man, identified as Brandon Irizarry, 28, was standing outside the front door and was “so focused on the task at hand” that he didn’t even notice the officers roll up.
“The jig was up, as he frantically covered up, pulling his hoodie down below his crotch instead of pulling up the multiple pants he had around his knees.”
But the story has a fishy twist, and even a happy ending.
After deputies arrested Irizarry, they found a live pet fish swimming in a plastic container in his backpack, and quickly acted to give it a good home.
“We have many questions. We do not have answers. What we did have was a fish in need of better company. The Betta, who we have named Baja Blast, has since been transferred to the Flagler County Humane Society,” FCSO wrote.
Staffers at the rescue organization later told the department that the rescued fish is “doing great” in her new environs.
“In Flagler County, if you can’t keep your business inside your pants, you’ll find yourself at the Green Roof Inn, swimming with different company than your fish,” Sheriff Rick Staly said, referencing the county jail by its nickname.
“A reminder for the rest of Flagler County: a late-night Taco Bell run should end with a receipt, maybe some regret, but not a booking number.”
Irizarry was arrested for unlawful exposure of sexual organs and transported to Sheriff Perry Hall Inmate Detention Facility where he’s being held on $5,000 bond, FCSO said.