Zack Polanski doesn’t even have what it takes to lead the Green Party! (Image: PA)
The new leader of The Greens is a bloke called Zack Polanski – an ex-hypnotherapist whose claim to fame was that he could enlarge women’s breasts with his mind. I’m thinking it’s a career this ego-on-legs should have stuck with, because he’s not fit to run a political party. Not when he comes out with rubbish like: “Shoplifting is justified if you’re poor.” No, it isn’t. It’s thieving – poor or not! And since when did leaders of political parties encourage people to break the law?
This eejit clearly doesn’t know that much of the shoplifting is done by organised gangs. And one of the major things stolen is expensive booze – which is not what you nick if you’re starving. Polanski clearly doesn’t know, or care, about the fact that shoplifting cost hard-up retailers £2.2billion last year. Has it not occurred to him that, when these scumbags steal, shopkeepers have to put up the prices of everything to survive and THAT hurts poor people.
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Oh, and Polanski also thinks criminals are locked up too often – proof positive he’s clueless about the fact hardly anyone gets locked up for anything anymore because there’s no prison cells and Starmer has just released 26,000 dangerous criminals back onto our already lawless streets.
I think Polanski’s problem is threefold – he’s a bit thick, he loves himself more than anyone else ever could and he doesn’t bother checking the facts of what he’s talking about. But he needs to or he’s going to end up with less credibility than Starmer and he’ll have to go back to enlarging women’s breasts with his mind.
Or is that IN his mind? Who cares?
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The headlines this week screamed – Britain having too few babies. Well, that’s one thing this joke of a government can blame pensioners for.
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Poor lamb Ellie Goulding is all embarrassed (Image: Getty)
Singer and activist Ellie Goulding say she’s embarrassed to be a Brit right now because of the mass demos over immigration.
Poor lamb. I don’t suppose living in her multi-million-pound ivory tower and being surrounded by security she’ll ever experience any of the problems caused by out-of-control immigration.
It really does grate when the rich and out of touch bang on about problems that will never affect their pampered, privileged lives. Goulding, who comes from a working-class family, ought to know better than sound like the entitled madam she now does.
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So finally, it looks like Rachel Reeves is on the skids – although Rayner’s resignation has bought her some time. But how long before we look back on the good old days when the black hole was just £22billion, not £50billion?
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Why did she do it? (Image: PA)
Oh noooooooo. Why did she do it? I love Kate but I really don’t like the new blonde hair. The world’s full of blonde women – I’m one of them – and it’s just not that special. But her lustrous, gleaming chocolate brown locks were. They made her look stand-out classy in a world full of Stepford blondes.
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An animal rights activist called activist Emma Smart was arrested after she (allegedly) burst into the posh Weymouth fish restaurant, Catch, and stole a live crayfish from their tank. She then threw it into the sea.
She’d presumably convinced herself she was liberating the poor creature but as a marine biologist you’d think she’d know that crayfish can’t survive in salt water. I think the study of marine life may not be the career for her.
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Nadine Dorries wants to be part of the revolution! (Image: PA)
Nadine Dorries’ defection to Reform has been described as a “seismic blow to the Tories”. Obviously, it’s not that as Dorries hasn’t been a force in British politics since Boris resigned.
However, she is yet another grown-up politician who realises the Tories are toast and so is heading for the only party that’s in tune with the British people. There’s a revolution coming and Dorries wants to be part of it.
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A new poll says only 11% of the country think Starmer is doing a good job. Who are these 11% and why haven’t the men in white coats come for them yet?
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Asylum seeker Yusef Ali Hamud, who lives in Nuneaton says he wants to go back to Somalia because he’d feel safer there in Britain. Really? The man’s got a conviction for serious criminal assault (and lives on benefits obviously) so it’s us who should be scared of him.
Anyway, what’s stopping him going home? Oh hang, he’s clearly expecting the country he now hates and wants to escape to pay for his return ticket. Should we start a whip round? It would be one less migrant to house!