A mother has shared that her impending death from bowel cancer allowed her to “live more fully”, with her final weeks encompassing “some of the happiest days” of her life. Laura Dawson, 44, suffered from bloating and fatigue for several months before being diagnosed with stage three cancer in March last year.
Initially, she attributed her symptoms to perimenopause, but one evening she was rushed to A&E due to excruciating stomach pain which meant she “could not move”. The mother-of-two underwent emergency surgery to remove a blockage in her bowel and, while the operation was successful, a biopsy confirmed her cancer diagnosis.
Laura endured six months of chemotherapy and initially, the scans were “promising”, according to her husband Ben, 49.
He revealed: “We got one clear scan in August and it all seemed promising. But then in September we got the news that it was back and it had spread. That was absolutely gut-wrenching.”
At first, Laura attempted other forms of chemotherapy, but two months ago she chose to cease treatment. The therapy was only exacerbating her illness and she instead wished to spend her remaining time with her family and friends.
Laura received support from St Christopher’s Hospice in Sydenham, south-east London, enabling her to stay at home for as long as possible, surrounded by her loved ones in a “comfortable and dignified way”. After two weeks, she transitioned to in-hospice care and passed away peacefully at St Christopher’s Hospice on Sunday, June 29, with Ben by her side.
Ben described her passing as “peaceful” and expressed gratitude for the care she received. He said: “The care Laura received at home from the carers from St Christopher’s allowed her to have her final two weeks at home in a comfortable and dignified way.
“Then, during the nearly three weeks she stayed at the hospice, she was so well looked after – and everyone there was so compassionate and so caring – that it made Laura’s last few days so good for her. We’re eternally grateful that such a positive experience could come from such a negative situation.”
Laura had previously spoken about her acceptance of her mortality, revealing that her final days were among her “happiest”. She said: “Some of the happiest days of my life have been in the last few weeks. As a society, we shy away from the process of dying.
“By doing that, we reinforce negative ideas around death. People think death is always going to be painful and traumatic, but it doesn’t have to be.
“Deep down we all know we are going to die. Cancer has forced me to acknowledge it. Since then I’ve lived more fully than I’ve ever done and that has been a gift.”
Ben spoke poignantly about the gratitude he and Laura felt for the time they had, despite longing for more. He shared: “Laura could have died on that operating table back in March. Life can be cut short unexpectedly and suddenly.
“But knowing Laura was going to die meant everyone had the opportunity to say what they wanted to say to her. When it comes to the funeral, I won’t have to stand up there and say all those things I wished I had said to her.
“Because I told her and so did the kids. Obviously, I’d prefer to keep her – and have her for the rest of my life.
“But she died knowing she is loved and that we will miss her endlessly. That is a blessing.”
Throughout their harrowing experience, Ben has been openly communicating with their sons Jacob, 17, and Theo, 15, about Laura’s condition.
Ben described their approach: “We’ve spoken very openly about it all the way through. We’ve always told them what the possible outcomes are – because we want to prepare them for what might happen and we want them to be able to trust what we’re saying. That’s definitely helped us throughout.”
He also lauded the exceptional care given by both the NHS and St Christopher’s Hospice.
“From the moment she was admitted into Guy’s and St Thomas’ Hospital, all the care Laura received was incredible,” he expressed. “We really are so thankful.”
In his final remarks, Ben shared that it was Laura’s wish to publicise her ordeal to help others face the realities of mortality.
He remarked: “The way she’s approached this has been incredible. I don’t think there’s been a day in this process where Laura truly let this get to her. This is unfair. She’s had her life cut short by 40 or 50 years. But she was seeing the beauty in the small things – taking joy in what she could do.
“They say people are glass half empty or glass half full. Laura was always happy enough just to have a glass. She wanted to share that with people.”
In a deeply touching gesture, Laura devoted her remaining moments to creating precious memories for her family, writing heartfelt letters and organising keepsakes, while also gifting her sons meaningful watches.
“She bought me one when we got engaged and now the boys have one too,” Ben shared. “That way, on special occasions, like their weddings, they can look at it and know she’s with them and thought about that day.”
Reflecting on his life with Laura, Ben recounted: “We met 24 years ago. They talk about love at first sight – and it was that.
“She’s been my constant companion ever since. Laura was generous to a fault – and the kind of person who is friends with someone after a minute of chatting to them. She was just a really, really nice person.”
To support St Christopher’s Hospice, you can make a donation here: https://www.stchristophers.org.uk/donate
For contributions to Cancer Research, visit: https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/
And to donate to Guy’s and St Thomas’ Charity, head to: https://donate.gsttcharity.org.uk/