Just over a year ago, my sister Paola Marra travelled alone to die at Dignitas, an assisted dying facility in Switzerland. She had been living with terminal bowel cancer and was in unbearable pain. She was denied choice over her death in her home country and had to travel hundreds of miles to die a lonely death abroad. It’s time people like her had the choice of assisted dying here in the UK.
Before she died Paola called on MPs to have a debate on assisted dying in the next Parliament. Just six months later, Paola got her wish and MPs voted in support of Kim Leadbeater MP’s Bill at Second Reading. This was a huge moment and showed that the majority of MPs recognised that the blanket ban on assisted dying isn’t working. The Bill still has many stages to go, but it was a big first step towards change.
Paola loved life. She had countless friends and made so many memories. She didn’t want to die, but after years of pain, she wanted to take control over the end. She was allergic to most opioids so knew that her pain may not be controlled when she died.
She had seen others die of bowel cancer and knew that she might suffer a bowel obstruction, perhaps a burst bowel or faecal vomiting. This was not the kind of death she wanted.
She didn’t want anyone to get in trouble with the law for accompanying her, as they could be seen as assisting her death, a crime in the UK. So she died alone. I was devastated that she spent her final moments with no one by her side, rather than having me and her dearest friends holding her hand and saying goodbye.
Paola spent thousands of pounds to have this choice and she recognised that she was fortunate to be able to afford this. Most people simply do not have the £15,000 on average it costs to die abroad. Paola wanted a say in how she died but resented having to seek a compassionate choice elsewhere.
Paola was determined to spend the last months of her life fighting what she believed was the injustice of the blanket ban on assisted dying. It was so like my sister to go out in style: she did a photo and film shoot with the photographer Rankin, launched an open letter calling for a debate on assisted dying signed by 25,000 people and joined Dignity in Dying’s campaign for a change in the law.
Her campaigning received blanket coverage and her videos were viewed hundreds of thousands of times. Her incredible legacy is that her voice was a huge part of the movement for a change in the law backed by three quarters of the public.
The Bill has now completed its Committee Stage, during which a group of cross-party MPs with different positions on the legislation agreed on amendments, strengthening it and bringing in greater protections for everyone.
This week the Bill will be debated again at Report Stage, when MPs will vote on further amendments and give the issue further scrutiny. After that it will receive its Third Reading and MPs will vote on whether to pass the Bill in the Commons to begin its journey through the House of Lords.
As they come to vote again on the Bill, I implore MPs to remember my sister Paola and all the people who will come after her that are calling for choice over their deaths.
Don’t leave them to face potentially painful deaths despite good palliative care, or to take matters into their own hands, either in Switzerland like Paola, or here in the UK using violent methods. Give them the choice they want and deserve.