A couple who were together for 41 years died hand-in-hand “with love and comfort” when they both had assisted deaths in Canada, their daughter has revealed. Lee Goguen said her parents Coby and Gerald fell asleep listening to their first dance song from their wedding — I Love You by Climax Blues Band.
The pair chose to end their lives using the country’s Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) process after Coby, 62, was diagnosed with terminal cancer and Gerald, 70, was left in agony by complications from a previous cancer treatment. Lee, 33, told the Express she brought her mum’s favourite foods of pizza and a chocolate bar during their final hours together on February 25. She added: “I got to spend the day with them, we had breakfast together. When the time came, they held hands and I held their hands.
“I played their wedding song and they fell asleep peacefully. The doctors administered the medication that would stop their hearts and it was over. It was peaceful, calm and it was just so very relaxed.”
Coby was diagnosed with advanced renal cell carcinoma in June 2024, after breaking her arm while washing a window. The cancer had already spread around her body and eaten away at her bones, and doctors delivered a prognosis of six months to one year.
Coby started treatment which shrank the cancer but could not cure it and took a heavy toll. Lee said: “It was exhausting. It’s really hard on the body, especially when you know it’s not going to improve in the end.
“We got a lot of good time with her but it was still borrowed time. For her, there was no question that it was going to end with a death.”
Gerald became seriously ill just one month later after developing fistulas in his groin caused by radiation damage to his bladder during treatment for prostate cancer years earlier.
The construction worker was left in constant pain, only able to lie down or stand up. By Christmas, doctors said the only possible treatment was surgery to remove the bladder, which would impact his quality of life and leave him with a 30-40% chance of survival.
Remembering a time when she visited him in hospital, Lee said: “I could just see it in his face, he was tired, he was done. He knew that even if he did survive the surgery, he was going to end up living not in his home, not with his wife, but relying on others to take care of him.
“For him, that was not living. I kind of gave him permission, I said: ‘Dad, if you don’t want the surgery you don’t have to get it’.”
Shortly after Gerald began the MAID process, Coby suffered a fall which had traumatic effects and left her “not herself”. She also requested MAID and went through a lengthy interview process where doctors ensured she still had mental capacity.
Although she is still grieving, Lee said that being able to plan for her parent’s deaths and “thank them for everything that they did for me” made their loss slightly easier.
She explained: “You don’t get that with a sudden or natural death — to fall peacefully into sleep listening to the song that you danced to with the love of your life for the first time at your wedding.
“I’m grieving but everything after they passed has been a lot less painful because I was able to be with them when it happened and prepare myself. Being a part of that really helped me get closure.”
Assisted dying was legalised in Canada in 2016 and is available to adults who have a serious and incurable illness, disease or disability, excluding mental illness.
Patients must be in an advanced state of irreversible decline and have enduring and intolerable physical or psychological suffering.
Canada’s law is broader than the one the Daily Express Give Us Our Last Rights crusade campaigns for in the UK, which would only permit assisted dying for people who are terminally ill and in the last six months of life.
New Brunswick resident Lee said she initially felt “upset” when assisted dying was legalised because she feared disabled people may end up using it instead of receiving social help.
But she supported her parents’ decisions and felt reassured by the thorough process and hours doctors spent with Coby and Gerald discussing their choices.
Lee now believes “the benefits outweigh the potential for abuse”. She said: “It’s the same thing as a welfare programme – you’re always going to have someone who’s gaming the system. Does that mean you should take it away from everyone who needs it?
“If you don’t have any hope, any chance to get through what you’re going through, would you rather know and choose how you’re going to go? Or have it surprise you and be unable to decide?”
Lee added of her parent’s experience: “They passed away with love and comfort, and it was peaceful. As sad as I was to lose my parents, especially both of them at the same time, it gave me so much relief because their suffering was over.
“They were able to be together in their final moments and really feel love. I think being able to dictate the way you die in a situation where you are going to inevitably end up there is incredibly powerful.”
Lee is fundraising to cover the costs of caring for her parents, including expenses for prescriptions and frequent travel to hospital which have left her in significant debt. You can donate here.