Jane Houng, right, with her diplomat daughter Becky, 30, who was murdered in Lebanon in 2017 (Image: Jane Houng)
THE mother of the only UK diplomat to be killed on public service has vowed to continue her global campaign to stop violence against women.
Jane Houng was presented with the new Elizabeth Emblem honour by the King yesterday in memory of her daughter Rebecca Dykes.
After Rebecca, 30, was raped and strangled by a taxi driver in Lebanon, Jane devised and promoted a tiny personal alarm which she called Becky’s Button in order to protect other women.
She said the award “strengthens my resolve to continue her legacy”, adding: “I am so honoured to receive this emblem on behalf of Becky, who was always such a thoughtful person.
always such a thoughtful person.” Named after Queen Elizabeth II, the silver brooch is given as a mark of recognition to the next of kin of those who lost their lives while undertaking their public duties, including firefighters and police officers.
It is embossed with the words For A Life Given In Service, and the King presented Jane, 66, with one inscribed with Rebecca’s name at Windsor Castle yesterday.
The 30-year-old was killed in December 2017, by a Beirut cabbie who left Becky’s body in an underpass where it was found early the next day by Lebanese soldiers.
Jane said: “Losing my precious daughter has taught me that death is the greatest teacher”, adding that the murder had inspired her to strive for lasting change.
She went on: “I have to fight. I have to go on, and I have to continue to do what I can in my daughter’s name.
“She was a sweet daughter with a sunny personality who was very easy to bring up.
“I want to try to reduce violence against women, support women’s rights, help prevent other mothers from having to suffer in this way, and ensure a safer future for all.”
Her mission saw her launch the world’s smallest panic alarm which she now distributes to vulnerable women across the globe.
Jane said the King was keen to see it. Karim Kattouf, a member of the Becky’s Button team who attended the ceremony, said: “He realised its importance and acknowledged its value.”
Becky’s mother added: “This recognition actually gives us an opportunity to raise the profile of Becky’s Button…It is an honour and a recognition. It strengthens my resolve to continue her legacy.”
Becky was working at the British Embassy in the then-Department for International Development, helping Lebanon tackle an influx of people fleeing conflict in Syria.
During her time there, she oversaw £12million in UK aid for communities hosting the most vulnerable Syrian and Palestinian refugees.
Her killer Tariq Houshieh, then 29, was sentenced to be executed – but Jane and Becky’s father Philip, a human rights lawyer, oppose capital punishment.
Jane said: “Even though the death penalty in Lebanon has been abrogated, Houshieh could be executed at any time. At the very minimum, he will already have to serve his whole life in prison, and who are we to take a life?”
The Government arranged a memorial service at London’s St Martin-in-the-Fields, attended by senior politicians including Boris Johnson and Jess Phillips, and Penny Mordaunt who said of Becky: “She changed thousands of lives for the better. And if we judge her life on those achievements, she achieved a lifetime’s worth.”
In her grief, Jane took up exercise and yoga, doing the Great North Run half marathon.
She recalled: “I could have drunk myself to death after losing Becky, but instead a whole new world was opened to me when I identified that I wanted to continue her humanitarian legacy. This has been my lifeline.”
That followed a life-changing dream she had days after her daughter was killed: “It was a very powerful vision that has never left me. It concerned her being raped by the taxi driver but not being strangled, and what Becky herself would be doing now with that experience. I knew in that moment that she would be telling her story; speaking out about gender-based violence and becoming an advocate for women.”
King CharKing Charles presents an Elizabeth Emblem to Jane Houng at Windsor Castle on Tuesday (Image: AFP via Getty)
In that dream Jane also envisaged the attack alarm she believes could have saved Becky, what she calls “a tool for survival”.
She vowed to make it a reality – and came up with Becky’s Button.
Jane continued: “It was dark as Becky awaited the taxi to take her home safely from a party, in preparation for an early-morning flight to the UK for a family Christmas.
“The first thing the taxi driver did was snatch her handbag and her phone. This happened just 15 steps away from a main road.
“If Becky had been wearing a discreet personal safety alarm she could have pressed it.
“Press the alarm. Shock the attacker. She would know it would be a chance to run.
“In those precious few moments, people would have seen her, and then she would have reported him.”
Jane was determined to work in Becky’s name to save other women and, using designers in China, she spent a year developing the device.
She has since paid for more than 7,000 to be given to vulnerable women in refugee camps and other communities around the world – and is seeking collaborators to make it more widely available.
At her home in Petworth, West Sussex, where family photos of Becky and her elder sister adorn sunshine yellow walls – a colour intended to give Jane a lift each day – she handed the rechargeable plastic device to the Daily Express.
Pale blue and half the size of a matchbox, it can be clipped inside a bra or simply worn around the neck…but when Jane presses the button, a disorientating 125-decibel siren fills the room. She said: “There was a fantastic reception from the women at our pilot scheme in Europe’s largest refugee camp in Greece in 2022.
“Refugee camps are dangerous places for women, and they immediately wanted to wear it.”
Weeks later, a young woman walking to the camp bathroom in the dark was harassed by four men: “She pressed the alarm, and instead of being raped, fellow refugees and guards came running.”
Rebecca Dykes is the only British diplomat to be killed in service since records began (Image: Jane Houng)
Jane reflected: “It was such a powerful outcome. I say to anyone who can afford a panic button or safety alarm, please buy one.”
Dividing her time between the UK and Hong Kong, where she is a bestselling children’s author, Jane also spends much of the year travelling to displaced and war-torn communities to support women.
Becky’s Button is the way she accesses the most vulnerable in places such as Tripoli in Lebanon, one of the most dangerous cities in the world: “Where those who most need a panic alarm and who can least afford it are living.”
Jane is helped by a global team of volunteers, many of whom are university students. The former teacher also delivers workshops on gender-based violence to groups including young men.
She feels it is vitally important to influence them with positive messaging: “When I received the phone call about Becky, the first thing I thought was that she was just really unlucky but I soon discovered that around 80,000 women a year are killed due to femicide.
“So many families like us have been affected by this epidemic and I have never felt alone because, tragically, there are so many of us.” Jane, a volunteer prison visitor, insists: “Men aren’t naturally born violent and evil. It is generally what has happened to them as children.” She wants to know more about Becky’s killer: “He came from a dysfunctional background, had been in and out of foster care and in and out of prison.
Distribution of Becky’s Buttons in Beirut, Lebanon, in August 2023 (Image: Jane Houng)
“I do feel that in terms of how to reduce violent attacks against women, that what happens in the prisons themselves is really important. There should be greater emphasis on training programmes and psychological help.
“From very early on I felt so sorry, not only for my daughter and our family, but also for his family.
“His mother has lost her son. It’s a tragedy for them as much as it is for us. What is demanded of me is radical forgiveness – forgiving the unforgivable. When the time is right, I will try to talk to this young man. He’s ruined his life.
“If he showed some remorse, I know I could forgive him.” She also wants to understand more about what drove Becky to choose a career in humanitarian work: “What came out in Becky’s funeral, from so many stories from her friends, was that Becky was so extraordinarily kind.
“I would see her always reading these heavy books on refugee policy, but I was a businesswoman. It wasn’t until she died that I truly understood her enthusiasm and passion for her job. Suffering has brought me awareness.
“The knowledge that the last time I saw her, at the airport three weeks before she was killed, I said all the things I would have said if I had known it was going to be the very last time has also helped me through the grief.”
• To support Becky’s Button, visit beckysbutton.org and Instagram.com/beckysbutton
