Kemi Badenochsuggested she would tone down her approach if she wins the Tory leadership contest.
The shadow housing secretary, who is the favourite to replace Rishi Sunak, said she did not think she was rude but that aides have previously pulled her up on comments.
She put down her manner to having a “higher threshold for stress” than other people.
Asked about Conservative colleagues saying she was rude, she told the BBC’s Newscast: “I think, you know, when I was talking about me having a higher threshold for stress, I think this is one of the manifestations that I don’t think I’m being rude.
“I just think I’m saying something that I wouldn’t mind hearing about. So I treat people how I treat myself.
“And, you know, I’ve had even some of my advisors saying, why did you say that? What did I say? What? What do you mean?”
Pressed on when that has happened, Ms Badenoch added: “I genuinely can’t remember. What did I say? It was nice. I was nice. No, you shouldn’t have said this.
“I thought. Well, I was just being honest. But he’s going to be so upset by that. And then you check. And I think on that occasion the person actually was not.
“But I have to be mindful that I have a higher tolerance for things than than others.
“And I think part of being a leader is being able to calibrate so that you can help manage other people.”
On being softer going forward, she said: “Yes, but that’s fine. I’m not perfect, you know. I’ve never said that I was perfect.
“We keep wanting people who will give the perfect interview and have the perfect policies look perfect. There’s nobody like that. Everybody’s coming with pluses and minuses.
“And what this leadership contest is about is not a general election or, you know, who’s got the nicest manifesto. It’s what kind of person do you want as leader?
“And I think Robert and I probably don’t disagree on very much, but we are very different people. And it’s a choice of what kind of person do you think would be best?”
It comes as the result of the race to replace Rishi Sunak will be announced this Saturday.