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I’ve got stage four cancer – this is what I lie awake thinking about | UK | News

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Last updated: April 16, 2025 5:01 am
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Published: April 16, 2025
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Being diagnosed with cancer, especially a late-stage cancer, throws your mind into turmoil. Aside from worrying about your health and where its deterioration might take you and those who care about you, the bigger picture — your future and the future of those you love — is knocked off course and into the unknown. I lie awake for hours at night thinking about all the things I took for granted, all the things I assumed I’d get to see: My two daughters getting married, then having children, places I always wanted to go, people I wanted to see, writing that book, painting those pictures. Nothing is certain.

As things stand now, I couldn’t say if I’ll be alive in three months, six months, one year or even two years. I am literally in the hands of the gods. That’s a lot to cope with mentally for both you and those who care for and love you. Anger, sadness, regret, jealousy, fear. All emotions that swamp your mind and swing your moods. It’s easy to fall into depression. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I won’t get to see things I assumed I would like my daughters weddings, grandchildren or retirement – but that’s ok, I’m creating memories every day and I’m grateful for each morning I wake up.

I try to see life now as a series of milestones that I want to reach. That helps. Celebrating those milestones gives me happiness and gratitude. I’m lucky to see each and every one.

Thankfully I’ve had a few, My youngest daughter getting her first job, my eldest daughter moving into her first home and on Sunday 27th April she’ll be running the marathon for Bowel Cancer UK. 

I’m so proud of her choosing to run for such a great charity. She’s a star and is determined to raise as much money and awareness as possible. Her message, as well as mine, is to listen to your body and get any niggles, however small, checked out.

I ignored mine even though I knew something was up – but I didn’t want to bother anyone or waste their time.

Getting checked is no big deal and could save your life — that is the message I want to pass on this Bowel Cancer Awareness month. The theme this April is #PassItOn — share the symptoms, encourage conversations, and help save lives.

Bowel cancer is the second deadliest cancer in the UK, yet far too many people remain unaware of its symptoms. If you notice any changes, no matter how small, speak to your GP and it’s never too early to take action.

Mental health is a major factor of having cancer, sometimes its impact is bigger than the cancer itself. Support in this area, for patients and those around them is hugely important.

I think it’s vital that all cancer sufferers have access to support. This is why I’m backing the Daily Express’s Cancer Care campaign to ensure patients receive mental healthcare both during and after their treatment.

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