Unveiling the five-bird roast (Image: Ketsuda Phoutinane)
I approached my first multiple bird roast – otherwise known as a turducken – with an open mind.
The turducken is an ingenious combination of turkey, duck and chicken, all cooked together as one.
Upping the stakes at Christmas is James Alexander Fine Foods with their five-bird roast which adds partridge, pheasant and a pancetta topping to the mix.
Prices start at £149 for a roast that feeds 7-8 people and go up to £224 for a 16-person feast.
Intrigued by its novelty, I thought it would make for a good story to tell my friends and family if it turned out to be good – it was not.
Read more ‘We work in a fish and chip shop – there’s one festive food you can order fried’
James Alexander’s five-bird roast (Image: Ketsuda Phoutinane)
My first impressions of the Frankenbird
When presented with the chance to try this Frankenbird, I was the only one among my colleagues who was willing to embrace the creation.
But even in its packaging, the roast is prettier than I’d expected. The bundle of meat is held together by netting atop which strips of pancetta drizzled with aromatic herbs forming an appealing top layer.
However, it came without instructions and even an explanation of which meat was which would have been appreciated.
As someone who has regularly hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, this roll-up of meat was a mystery. I located instructions on James Alexander’s website, but the absence of a copy with the order seemed like an oversight.
My confidence waned when a colleague declined the roast due to a bout of food poisoning she’d suffered from a three-bird roast the previous Christmas. Eager as I was, I wasn’t prepared to risk getting food poisoning five times over for work.
Adding to the unease was DPD who delivered the parcel a full five hours late. The bird, still chilly to the touch, was perched atop an ice pack and wrapped in lambswool.
Looking for reassurance, I texted my chef friend for more detailed instructions. Her first question was to check which meat was in the middle, and as I hadn’t a clue, she advised me to check that the centre of the roast reached 74C, the standard temperature for poultry based on UK food and safety practices.
This was no issue for me with my food thermometer, but it would be a guessing game for others.
The Frankenbird ready for serving (Image: Ketsuda Phoutinane)
Cooking a multiple bird roast
Reading the mostly positive reviews, customers sang praises about the roast, although many mentioned it was dry. Not sure how dry meat could be good, I wondered if this was the intended audience.
The instructions say to bring the meat to room temperature before roasting, but I’m not organised enough for that, so it spends 45 minutes on the counter before going in the oven.
At 2.69kg, my roast is among the smallest available and with an estimated cooking time of just over two hours. They also recommend basting every 30 to 40 minutes, but no juices are released in the first hour, and I only manage to do it twice in the end.
Instagram ready, but not for long (Image: Ketsuda Phoutinane)
The turducken verdict – is it worth splashing out £150+?
The roast, with its bronzed pancetta crust fresh from the oven, is a sight to behold. However, I can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for what’s about to happen next.
The serving process for this poor roast is akin to a beauty treatment in reverse. Away goes the pancetta and I begin the task of cutting away the net.
What’s revealed is a dried-out chunk of meat, marked by the net like pillow creases on a face. Yet, some of the most delicious foods aren’t necessarily the most visually appealing, and the true test – at least for me – is in the taste.
The five-bird roast is primarily filled with chicken, turkey and duck, with smaller amounts of partridge and pheasant tucked inside, and after the first bite, I understand why.
I’m glad I made my own sides (Image: Ketsuda Phoutinane)
The pheasant meat, which I recognise thanks to Google, has a familiar taste that reminds me of the congealed blood cubes I’ve had in pho. But it’s the pheasant that really overwhelms, with its funky, gamey flavour causing me to gag.
The main three birds – chicken, turkey and duck – are dry, as other customers have pointed out. The pretty herb garnish on the pancetta was purely for show, having quickly burned up in the oven.
In hindsight, my first mistake was not bringing the roast to room temperature – perhaps it wouldn’t have been so dry – and the second was neglecting to make a gravy from the drippings on the first night.
As I prepared this meal on a weekday evening, I was ready to call it a day by the time everything was cooked. Despite not being a fan of James Alexander’s five-bird roast, I couldn’t bring myself to waste it considering the number of animals that had been sacrificed for it.
However, I found myself unable to stomach more pheasant and partridge. In the second round, the drippings made a rich gravy that revived the chicken, turkey and duck.
This was all edible enough, but a simple homemade roast would have been far more enjoyable. So instead of the usual dry Christmas turkey, you end up with three dry meats and two unappetising ones.
So who is the right person for a five-bird roast? I suppose if you’re looking for something unique and Instagram-worthy, where taste is secondary – and have £150 to spare in this cost of living crisis – I won’t be able to convince you otherwise.
