I ate at Jeremy Clarkson’s and James May’s pubs — you only have 1 option

Jeremy Clarkson’s pub is probably the most famous in Britain, the star venue of the most recent series of the hugely popular Amazon Prime Video series Clarkson’s Farm. But not too far away, his former Top Gear and The Grand Tour colleague, James May, has his own venue — and it’s a hidden gem.

I headed down to the tiny village of Swallowcliffe in Wiltshire in 2024, whizzing past miles of rural land accented by scarlet autumn leaves, to arrive at a truly remote location. The pub is around 12 miles from Salisbury and within an easy half-hour drive of Stonehenge, yet its isolation is almost otherworldly. The pub and the church are the only two public buildings in the village.

There was total silence — until I walked through the door of the Royal Oak, where lots of happy voices murmured away in the packed-out dining room. Fairy lights were already twinkling, reminding revellers that Christmas was just around the corner, while a roaring fire instantly created a cosy atmosphere.

I’d already queued for hours to be one of the first through the doors of The Farmer’s Dog on Jeremy Clarkson’s opening day back in August (you can read a review of that here) and, a few months later, I was about to compare his former co-star and business rival James May’s pub.

I kicked off with a plate full of Padron peppers as an appetiser, which was dry and underwhelming until the zesty lime and gochujang mayonnaise dip kicked in. The Korean chilli flavouring was just one indicator that, while Jeremy has an unwavering commitment to serving exclusively local British produce, James is blending in world foods and flavours for his own venue.

At midday, it was a bit early to sample one of James’ legendary gins, which boast volumes of between 40 and 57 per cent, so instead, I opted for another way to compare his alcohol offerings to Jeremy’s beer brand. While Jeremy’s sausage and mash main is smothered in gravy flavoured by his very own Hawkstone beer, James’ fish and chips main also comes battered in beer.

In this category, James’ pub could definitely match up to the competition, with the breadcrumb corners of the haddock proving satisfyingly crispy and moreish.

Hand-cut chips, mushy peas and a generous helping of tartare sauce helped cement it as a great interpretation of a traditional fish and chip dish.

At £19, it’s just £1 more expensive than Jeremy’s sausage and mash and the portion size is slightly bigger.

There’s just one item on James’ menu that’s far more expensive than his famous rival’s – the locally produced “Chateaubriand of Wiltshire beef”, which comes with field mushrooms, peppercorn sauce, onion rings, hand-cut chips and a watercress salad.

The dish sets each diner back a hefty £75, so I gave it a miss: although principled Jeremy has said he’s shouldering the extra cost of keeping his food local, even if he makes a loss, James seems to be adding it to customers’ bills – and tender Chateaubriand tends to be costly at the best of times.

However, there’s very little difference when it comes to dessert – while my dish at Jeremy’s pub cost £8, my dark chocolate brownie at James’ venue was just 50p more.

The brownie tasted as good as a grandmother’s handmade secret recipe, while it was accompanied by a whirl of sour cherry ripple ice cream and a crunchy piece of chocolate tuile.

There are big bargains to be had on weekday lunchtimes, when prices are slashed to £20 for two courses or £25 for three, but most dishes are comparable in price to Jeremy’s at the weekends too.

Meanwhile, though the Royal Oak might be about as remote and isolated as a British village can get, there are plenty of attractions within easy driving distance.

Salisbury is less than half an hour’s drive away, and its four-star Milford Hall Hotel is a surprisingly luxurious budget alternative to the few rooms available at the Royal Oak, with rooms available in the first week of December for rock bottom prices of less than £60 per night.

There’s an art-deco-themed bar with peacock feather carpets and hand-crafted cocktails, sweet and savoury afternoon teas with macarons and strawberry jam-soaked scones, and, of course, a restaurant with everything from steaks to seafood and main courses ranging from £14 to £29.

It’s within walking distance of Salisbury Cathedral, which has an original well-preserved Magna Carta inside, and not far from James’ pub.

Also nearby is Stonehenge, the world-famous 18th-century landscaped gardens at Stourhead, which light up with colour in autumn, and the lakeside Old Wardour Castle, which is just four miles from The Royal Oak.

Forget a weekend trip – you could easily spend a full week here, switching between action-packed attractions, Christmas shopping and chill-out sessions in the idyllic countryside.

The Royal Oak can compete with The Farmer’s Dog on price and quality, but while there are arguably more obvious attractions surrounding the former, the latter prides itself on its patriotic homegrown produce, and the Cotswolds have always been iconic. My verdict? You only have one option: visit them both.