As someone who is trying to lose at least three stone in a year I’m overly fascinated by videos of eating challenges. It started long before the early days of chemotherapy, when I’d feel so sick afterwards that I’d be proud of myself if I managed to eat a Scotch egg. My favourite moment back in those days was when I ordered a delivery pizza and by the time it arrived 40 minutes later I felt too sick to eat anything. I think it started with Pete Doherty, of The Libertines and Babyshambles fame, when he was pictured for the first time in aeons. He was outside Dalby Cafe in Cliftonville, Margate, back in August 2018, with a massive breakfast.
Rocking the bleary-eyed look that I’ve adopted as my own, he managed to chow down four rashers of bacon, four eggs, four sausages, hash browns, onion rings, bubble and squeak, baked beans, two slices of toast, a quarter pounder burger and chips. And in the “after photo” he looked like he had also eaten his coat, but he had probably just taken it off and it was out of shot. When I visited the cafe in January 2024 I did contemplate trying the challenge but I knew that, just three days after chemotherapy, the chances of me eating it all within 20 minutes weren’t as high as whatever I did manage to consume becoming a pavement pizza.
I’m still saying that me eating a much smaller breakfast counts as me having something in common with Kate Moss’s ex-boyfriend.
Another thing we have in common is that we’ve both used ketamine.
For me it was one time before I had an operation at Croydon University Hospital and it was administered by an anaesthetist.
For him there were a few more occasions years ago and I don’t think any of them were courtesy of the NHS.
And the other thing I have in common is that we were both at a Peter Doherty gig on Tuesday night.
The eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed that the name Peter Doherty is very similar to Pete Doherty. It’s the same person! Like the me of the past 45 years, he’s come to realise that full names are better than shortened versions.
We were both at the same show because he was playing and I was watching.
For me the most important bit of Tuesday evening, apart from having a lot of fun, was that I managed to stand throughout the entire gig.
Yes, for two-and-a-half hours, I was fuelled by the power of lemonade and stood with my friends through an eclectic mix of a show.
And I could walk and live to tell the tale at my treatment session, for my incurable bowel cancer, the next day.
This was an exciting revelation for me after my experience at a circus performance before Christmas where I felt like I was going to collapse during the 30-minutes wait for the doors to open.
Now I feel that if everything fits together perfectly and if concert promoters ensure they only stage shows on the nights before my chemotherapy rather than two or three days afterwards then I can go and have a super fun time instead of collapsing.
It gives me extra hope for the Charlotte de Witte show I wrote about a few weeks ago, and I’m excited about other summer adventures too.
Sadly life rarely works in such a way for cancer patients and when things don’t fit together it’s important to have someone to talk to.
This is why at the Daily Express we are running the Cancer Care campaign.
We believe it’s vital that all cancer patients, no matter where they live in the UK, receive mental health support throughout their treatment and afterwards.
This should include a holistic needs assessment at the start so they can talk about and tackle any issues they are worried about. It should also include their medical teams asking them about their mental health at every consultation, so they can be given the help they need to thrive as much as they can.
This is the main thing in life I want to get sorted before I die. You can help by signing the petition on the Parliament website and please do it today because there’s no telling how long I’ve got left.