“What?” is a phrase more frequently used than “I love you” among couples over 55, research suggests. Nearly half of all couples have reportedly ended up arguing after mishearing one another, with some even offending their partner after mishearing what they said. A third of couples were found to argue over mishearing their partner several times a week leading to feelings of frustration, neglect, disconnection, and even lack of affection.
Specsavers, who commissioned the study, teamed up with celebrity couple Hilary and Michael Whitehall to humorously stir up controversy by staging public stunts that demonstrate how Michael’s hearing issues impact their daily life. Following some speculation, the couple disclosed in a Public Service Announcement video that many of their squabbles were due to Michael’s previously undiagnosed hearing loss.
Michael said: “I’ve always blamed our usual bickers on Hilary’s mumbling. After a little persuasion, I had a hearing check at Specsavers and it turns out, I have a little bit of hearing loss… Who knew?”
“Safe to say, missing half the conversation isn’t ideal in a marriage. Now I’ve been fitted with hearing devices I’ve realised how much I was missing before – and the issues my hearing was causing.”
Hilary said: “For a long time I thought Michael was just ignoring me or not getting my jokes. Unsurprisingly, or at least not to me, Michael’s hearing check identified a little bit of hearing loss.
“But now we know that’s what’s going on and he’s got a hearing device, we’re bickering less and laughing more.”
Nearly half reported having to raise their voices to be heard by their partner. The study revealed that couples ask each other to repeat themselves an average of four times a week – with a fifth doing so seven times a week or more.
Two in ten claimed their partner doesn’t listen to them during serious conversations, disregarding topics ranging from family matters to relationship problems, and have had to confront them because of it.
In some cases, a fifth have had to walk away from the situation, while others have stopped talking to their other half.
When queried about potential solutions to these problems, respondents suggested patience, understanding, and refraining from interrupting each other. A hearing check was also identified by 24 percent of couples as a possible solution.
Indeed, in 14 percent of couples, at least one person has recommended that the other schedule a hearing check. Nine percent of couples have at least one partner diagnosed with hearing loss – enabling them to seek the necessary assistance.
Relationship expert, Sarah Louise Ryan, added: “Miscommunication in relationships is one of the most common issues I hear about in my couples practice. For some, it’s that they’re having trouble expressing themselves, or that they don’t have the tools to resolve a difference of opinion, but in many cases, it’s a result of couples not hearing other correctly.
“This can cause marital tension, frustration, so if this sounds familiar in your relationship, don’t put off seeking expert help.”
Specsavers hearing expert, Sonam Sehemby, commented: “18 million adults in the UK have hearing loss and many don’t realise that they are missing parts of the conversation.
“Since it develops gradually, people often wait up to ten years before seeking help. But when hearing loss starts to affect relationships, it’s time to act – a hearing check can help couples reconnect and truly hear each other again.”