Do 'good sides' and 'bad sides' in photos actually exist?

You’ve heard it plenty of times getting ready to pose for a ‘gram-worthy group photo. “Wait wait wait, I need to switch with you, I’m on my bad side.”

But do people actually have “good sides” and “bad sides,” or is it all in our heads? How you think you look and how others think you look will differ, experts say, but everyone’s ultimate goal should be self-acceptance no matter your appearance – or where you’re standing.

“Acceptance is a big part of it,” says Lisa Brateman, licensed clinical social worker. “But I think when we are always comparing ourselves to others, we always come up short.”

‘It’s the exact same face just reverse’

If you consider one side “good” and another “bad,” join the club. While some may genuinely have a mark on their face that they don’t love to photograph, others may observe they look “off” on one side compared to another.

It’s not shocking that these perceptions exist. Think about who we hold up as the ideal on magazine covers and who has the most Instagram followers and likes. “We live in a society that places pressure on folks – but especially young girls and women – to conform to beauty norms and to look good,” says Samantha Kwan, associate professor of sociology at the University of Houston. “From an evolutionary psychology standpoint, the ideal for women includes symmetry and unblemished skin because it signifies health and reproductive potential. From a sociocultural standpoint, these ideals are created in part through media.”

These concerns may have also grown more pronounced during the earlier stages of the COVID pandemic, when online meetings and selfies became some of the only ways to view ourselves.

“When you think about it, it’s the exact same face just reverse that you’re used to seeing, but the reversal accentuates to what extent we have asymmetrical faces,” says Andrea Bonior, psychologist.

But no truly symmetrical face exists.

Choosing one of side as your best, however, isn’t inherently a bad thing. “If you think you have a better side, and you’re able to portray that side, you’re more confident,” Brateman says.

‘Is it really starting to impair daily life?’

Our views of ourselves will always be slightly distorted.

It’s one thing if you want to find your perfect side for yourself. But if you’re orchestrating every group photo and bothering others in the process – i.e. needing to have exact lighting right or taking extra long to get ready – it may be time to adjust your thinking.

“Is it really starting to impair daily life, daily functioning?” Bonoir asks. “Is it getting in the way of work? Is it taking so much time? Is it affecting your relationships?” Plus, determine how much it’s upsetting you. Is it making you feel bad about yourself, like you’re not good enough and/or limiting your eye contact with people?

“That’s the point at which we start wondering about things like body dysmorphic disorder, where the perceived flaws and appearance are so upsetting that they affect all parts of how you think of yourself,” Bonoir says.

Important:The Kardashians, body image and social media: Why parents should stop filtering their photos

The guide to self-acceptance

Brateman suggests enjoying the moment and leaving your critical eye at home. Flick off the devil on your shoulder that is comparison.

It’s easier said than done, but “becoming more self-accepting, becoming more compassionate, that even if you’re not going to be the most, physically symmetrical in a photo, that doesn’t mean that you’re not funny, and kind and smart, or all the various things that you might bring to the table,” Bonoir says.

Others may need tougher love and reminding that these are distortions, that the lens you are looking through isn’t accurate and not true to your actual appearance.