China has 30 million more men than woman (Image: Getty)
China faces a deepening social crisis with a staggering surplus of around 30 million more men than women, creating severe challenges for millions of men trying to find partners. The imbalance, one of the largest gender disparities in the world, stems largely from decades of policies and cultural preferences that favoured sons over daughters.
The origins of this gap date back to China’s one-child policy, introduced in 1980 amid fears of overpopulation. The policy was enforced during a period when many families strongly preferred male children, seen as essential for carrying on the family name and providing financial support in old age. This led to widespread sex-selective abortions, abandonment, and even infanticide of baby girls.
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A scene from the documentary (Image: YouTube)
The long-term effect is an unprecedented gender imbalance that now weighs heavily on society.
In the documentary The Dating Game, Chinese dating coach Hao, who works with over 3,000 clients, explains the challenge faced by many men from poorer, rural backgrounds.
He said: “Most of them are working class – they’re the least likely to find wives.”
Hao and his clients, including Li, Wu, and Zhou, struggle not only with dating but with social stigma tied to their economic status. Zhou said: “In the end, our fate is determined by society,” adding that he needed to “build up my status” to improve his chances.
Chinese dating coach Hao (Image: YouTube)
The film follows Hao as he coaches these men through makeovers, social interactions, and dating events in cities like Chongqing, where they attempt to overcome cultural and economic barriers.
Despite efforts, success is limited and often costly. Zhou noted: “I only make $600 (£440) a month,” but a typical date could cost him around $300.
The financial strain adds to the emotional and social pressure.
Violet Du Feng, the film’s director, who is based in the US but originally from China, said: “This is a generation in which a lot of these surplus men are defined as failures because of their economic status.”
They’re seen as the bottom of society, the working class, and so somehow getting married is another indicator that they can succeed.” She described the film as an attempt “to bridge a gap and create dialogue” about the extreme gender divide.
The demographic impact is severe. China officially ended the one-child policy in 2016 after recognising the long-term consequences, including a plummeting birthrate and an ageing population.
The government now holds matchmaking events to encourage marriage and childbirth, but the imbalance remains stark.
Dr Zheng Mu, a sociologist at the National University of Singapore, told the BBC: “In China, marriage or the ability, financially and socially, to get married as the primary breadwinner, is still largely expected from men.
As a result, the difficulty of being considered marriageable can be a social stigma, indicating they’re not capable and deserving of the role, which leads to great pressures and mental strains.”
Technology also plays a role, with the documentary highlighting the rise of virtual boyfriends popular among women in China.
Du Feng noted: “The women with virtual boyfriends felt men in China are not emotionally stable.” This points to broader social problems shaped by work culture, gender expectations, and emotional isolation.
The gender imbalance rooted in historical son preference continues to shape Chinese society. The film reveals the human cost behind the statistics — millions of men facing loneliness, financial struggle, and societal rejection in a country where having a son was once seen as crucial to family survival.