Holy guacamole! Avocados are set to rocket in price if Donald Trump follows through on his threat to slap a 25% trade tariff on Mexico – the world’s biggest supplier. It exports more than a million tonnes of the fruit worldwide every year, so a price surge could throw global supply chains into chaos.
The news, I imagine, will have clean-eating influencers quaking in their eco-friendly bamboo yoga socks. The avo-boom has gone hand-in-hand with the rise of social media. Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter (or whatever it’s called now) is flooded with artfully-curated and heavily-filtered shots of avocados. Sliced, diced, mashed, blended, wrapped into sushi, or smeared on the face – there is no end to the obsession.
And Britain’s appetite is insatiable, with more than 120,000 tonnes imported every year and rising. But little thought goes into the environmental impact.
To grow just one avocado, it takes an average of 70 litres of water — around five times the amount required to produce a kilo of tomatoes.
In a surprising turn of events, this week gardening guru Alan Titchmarsh called out avocado-munching wellness warriors for their glaring hypocrisy. He pointed out that rainforests are being felled at an “alarming rate” to make way for plantations.
“They are then shipped to our shores, often more than 5,000 miles across an ocean, as breakfast for supposedly environmentally friendly consumers,” he finger-wagged, before suggesting a return to familiar breakfast cereals like Shreddies or Weetabix.
Nice idea, but I can’t see the healthy-eating mafia ditching their Buddha bowls for Coco Pops.
If avocados are losing their “wellness cred” then maybe it is time for a new superfood trend. May I suggest the humble turnip? It’s just as bland as an avocado, but cheaper, and far more sustainable.
It just needs a rebrand. There are more than 13.5million #avocado posts on Instagram, whereas the lowly #turnip has a mere 252K. A travesty.
Delicately sliced and presented, it could be every bit as photogenic. Just need the wellness brigade to get on board with some gushing posts. “Elevating my self-care routine with a delicious turnip goddess juice. #blessed #turnip”.
Let’s make it happen. Save the planet. Eat turnips.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Authorities on Capri are pushing to have the Italian island classified as “disadvantaged” so it can qualify for EU funding. It’s an ironic request for a place renowned as a millionaire’s playground, but the reality is that the local population has been shrinking over the past decade, with dwindling job opportunities forcing many to relocate to the mainland.
I’ve visited Capri myself and even stayed at La Canzone del Mare — the same beach club once frequented by Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. (Thanks to decades of under-investment, I could afford a couple of nights there.) If there’s one thing that stuck with me, it’s that Capri is, without a doubt, the silliest and most absurdly frivolous place I have ever visited.
In an effort to save on dining out costs, I thought I’d stock up on a few groceries – wine, sweets, crisps, you know, the basics. So I set off in search of a supermarket or even just a corner shop. Mamma Mia! The town centre was just strada after strada of designer boutiques.
Prada, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Dolce & Gabbana, Dior, Yves Saint Laurent. So much luxury, yet all I wanted was a simple Londis.
If you’re after thigh-high stiletto boots, a diamond-encrusted clutch, and a cashmere throw, you will not be disappointed. But a reasonably-priced bottle of Pinot Grigio, a bag of Tangfastics, and some cheesy Doritos? Forget it. No wonder the locals are moving out. Less Armani and more Aldi, I say.