Latin rap superstar Bad Bunny’s divisive Super Bowl halftime show has drawn a range of opinions, but perhaps none as ridiculous as the Washington Post’s, which described the event’s pornographic lyrics and butt-shaking performance as “wholesome” while praising it for its “family values.”
The Jeff Bezos-owned outlet, which just fired a third of its staff, called the show a “solid 3” on a provocativeness scale of 1-10, with one being Up With People’s inoffensive 1982 halftime performance of “The Monster Mash” and 10 being Justin Timberlake exposing Janet Jackson’s breast in the infamous “wardrobe malfunction” in 2004.
“But in general, the show had the kind of wholesome, traditional family values that would have fit right in with some of the more sentimental commercials that appeared during the game,” the outlet dripped.
An incredulous commenter wrote on X, “I’m a fan of [Bad Bunny], but to call it wholesome is nothing short of gaslighting.”
Bunny, whose real name is Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, opened his halftime setlist with “Tití Me Preguntó,” a smash hit which sat atop the Latin Billboard charts for 14 weeks.
In the song — a literal ode to promiscuity — Ocasio, 31, boasts of his many sexual conquests, including a nice young lady who flew from Barcelona to see him and says his “d–k is fire.”
The rapper also croons, “Many want my baby gravy, they want to have my first born, hey, and take the credit,” which one could argue constitutes family values in the most technical sense.
But he follows it up with the charming line, “I’m bored already, today I want a brand new ass.”
Ocasio also performed his song “Party,” which tells the heartwarming tale of a lonely woman who’s finally ready to, well, party.
“She wants to grind and get high. I’ll smack that ass whenever you want, ready for you to gеt horny, and to grind it with you all-all night,” he sings of their budding courtship.
The song also includes sweet nothings such as, “There are so many seats, and you still want to sit on top of my d–k. I’ve made your p—y sentimental, uh, and your panties are wet.”
But the Washington Post article took a downright creepy turn when it likened the performance to mashing up classic children’s books with bumping and grinding on a dance floor.
“It felt as if ‘Sesame Street’ had worked up a reggaeton remix of ‘People in Your Neighborhood’ or Richard Scarry’s “Busy Town” had made room for dancers ready to get busy,” the article said.
“But not that busy,” it acknowledged.
“This remained a PG-rated affair with about as much dirtiness to the dancing as there was in the 1987 movie “Dirty Dancing.”
The outlet must have forgotten this other little gem from Ocasio’s performance of his hit “Safaera” at Levi’s Stadium on Sunday.
“P—y with d–k, d–k with ass (Push it in) Pu-p—y with d–k, d–k with ass, yes (Push it in) P—y with d–k, d–k with ass (Push it in) Your t–s rubbing my nipples (Push it in),” Ocasio rapped.
The Washington Post touted Bad Bunny’s halftime spectacle as portraying a “vivid tableaux of Latino life.”
That rich cultural tableaux really shines through in the lyrics to “El Apagón,” in which Ocasio said, “I like the p—y of Puerto Rico” 26 times in row.
The halftime act portrayed his dancers assuming a variety of professions including field workers, street food vendors — whose cart was complete with a “we accept EBT,” or food stamps, sign — and construction workers, but with nary a Latino doctor, lawyer or teacher in sight.
WaPo’s painfully clueless X post sharing its article, which was viewed nearly 6 million times, was flooded with comments and gifs of the performance showing it was anything but how the flailing outlet portrayed it.
“This has to be a parody account, right?” someone wrote.
“Saying a Bad Bunny show is wholesome and has tradition family values is like saying Puff Daddy is a working class hero to men and woman across the globe.”
Another person wrote, “‘Family entertainment.’ Bezos needs to fire more people.”
Notably, the Spanish-only performance was broadcast without English subtitles.