A woman has recounted her ordeal with chronic conditions that turned her skin and eyes yellow, leading to cruel jibes online branding her a “monster”. Emma Mendelssohn has been battling several illnesses for over ten years, which ultimately led to an urgent liver transplant.
The 22 year old from Bay Area, California, developed severe jaundice at the height of her health crisis, causing her complexion to become intensely yellow – a change that drew rude remarks and stares in public. “Turning yellow was a huge insecurity,” Emma confided to NeedToKnow. “The world was definitely confused and shocked by it. It’s a side effect of liver failure, called jaundice, where the levels of bilirubin are elevated, and your skin and eyes take on a yellow tint.
“Since my liver was aggressively failing at that point, my jaundice levels reached 66 at my worst – which my doctors said were the highest levels they had witnessed. Normal levels of bilirubin range between 0-0.3. I wasn’t already yellow, as the levels increased over time, but I was always noticeably yellow enough for people in public to acknowledge it and make comments about it. People asked if I knew my eyes were yellow and would tell me to go to the doctors. It happened gradually, although at a point I couldn’t even really tell until it was gone – and I look back noticing how bad it [the colour] was. I really hated looking in the mirror, it was a constant reminder of how sick I was.”
Emma, who chronicles her health struggles on TikTok and has amassed up to 43 million views, has also been subjected to vicious online trolling. She revealed that she’s been labelled “a monster” and told she looks “ready for Halloween”. She expressed: “It quickly became a huge insecurity.”
“I hated going out and hated looking at myself, and especially taking pictures. I hated myself – or at least the way I looked.” Emma’s ordeal began in her early years, with a diagnosis of hypothyroidism at the tender age of 12. At 15, she noticed the first signs of jaundice, which initially disappeared, leading her not to worry too much about it. However, as time passed, the yellowing of her skin persisted, and she found herself feeling more fatigued.
Currently without employment, Emma explained: “I credited the tiredness to the excessive amount of work and time I was putting into school, sports and extracurricular activities since I had no previous poor health record. I was always active, played multiple sports, was a devoted student, and my health honestly was never even a topic of discussion – I was always ‘fine’ or ‘normal’.” But in October 2018, her condition escalated when the jaundice re-emerged more severely, leading to hospitalisation and blood tests.
After undergoing several tests, doctors discovered she had alarmingly high liver enzyme levels and diagnosed her with liver failure, as well as autoimmune hepatitis – a condition where the immune system mistakenly attacks the liver.
She was also confronted with the frightening news that she required an emergency liver transplant. Emma underwent the transplant the subsequent month, but her body ‘rejected’ it, causing her health to deteriorate significantly – during this period she ‘turned yellow’ – and she even came to terms with the possibility of not surviving. Fortunately, she was able to receive a second transplant last year.
Emma shared: “I was constantly in pain and uncomfortable, and really just wanted it to be over – regardless of what the outcome was. I was never scared of death. The first time around influenced my perspective, allowing me to see and appreciate the last six years as more [time] than I would have had – a bonus, in a sense. I was content with how I had lived, and up until a week before going on the list, I was fully planning on dying at 21.
“The second transplant was so much better than the first time. I was up walking the next day, out of hospital within the week, and self-sufficient within the month.” Since then, Emma has been focusing on her recovery, although she continues to live with autoimmune hepatitis. She explained: “Unfortunately, there isn’t necessarily ‘treatment’ aside from medication to suppress my immune system. Autoimmune hepatitis doesn’t have a cure. It is a really rare and under-researched disease, which is something I’m really grateful I have been able to bring light to through my platform.”
Emma has spoken about the challenges of adapting to her new reality, having had to “let go” of control and “embrace the unknown”. She explained: “I have a chronic illness where my body attacks itself and I have no power over it. There’s no treatment, there is no cure. And as much as I hate to admit it and despise the truth, I highly doubt in my lifetime there will be a cure. Now, I simply have had to learn to let go, and approach situations and challenges with grace.”
Under close medical supervision, Emma remains hopeful for a future where her health is more stable. The journey has significantly altered her perspective on life. She continued: “My transplant, experience through liver failure, and diagnoses, have truly expanded my appreciation for life and the little things.
“So many small wins go unnoticed every day, but when you are surrounded by losses honestly the small wins seem huge. And changing my daily perspective from overlooking the small wins and everyday irritations to valuing and celebrating the fact that even though I might not want to get out of bed, I woke up today. It takes losing everything to truly appreciate the magnitude of the small victories.”