My wife heard my mum wishing we’d had a baby girl instead of our fourth boy
DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife heard my mum telling my dad that she wished we’d had a baby girl instead of our fourth boy on our baby monitor.
Mum and Dad were visiting at Easter. I took them to the station and came back to find my wife cuddling our baby son in tears. She told me what she’d heard. She says she never wants them in the house again.
I called Mum two days later and told her. I thought Mum would be mortified and guilty but she said that it was “unbelievable” that my wife would “have spy cameras in the house”.
She now thinks my wife must be spying on me with other cameras. It’s nonsense. My wife and I are 37 and Mum is 63.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your mum’s reaction was to deflect the attention away from herself because she feels defensive.
It was hurtful for your wife to hear but your mother may have thought she was expressing sympathy privately for what she imagines are your feelings.
Is your wife extra-sensitive about it because in truth she was rather wishing for a girl?
Reassure your wife that you and your family are thrilled with having another boy. Explain to your mum about modern baby monitors, and ask her to explain to your wife that the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her feelings.
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