WHETHER it is sleeping with the boss or getting it on in the car, sex is creeping into our dreams on an increasing basis.
Women nowadays spend three times as long dreaming about sex as their grandmothers did, according to a study by German academics.
Sex scenes such as Daniel Craig and Sienna Miller’s in film Layer Cake often result in celebs featuring in our own fantasies[/caption]
But dreams about sex do not always reveal lustful desires.
Ian Wallace, a psychologist and dream expert, says: “There is a tendency to take sex dreams far too literally. But they are usually about creating something in our lives. Who we’re doing it with in our dreams is important, as is where we are and what we’re wearing.”
Ian tells Kate Jackson some of the most common sex dreams and what they may mean . . .
Sex with a celebrity
THIS is the 26th most common dream of all and something people get very excited about, understandably.
The scenario is usually mundane. You are in Aldi and spot Daniel Craig poking around in the bananas. The next minute you are having hot sex – and this is completely normal for you. You are both relaxed in each other’s company.
Fantasising about Daniel Craig as James Bond in Casino Royale may mean you want to highlight your own talents[/caption]
This does sometimes just mean you really fancy the pants off that person. But it is more likely that it is about the quality you most associate with that famous person and how you may now have the opportunity to display it too.
You are becoming more intimately aware of your own talents and resources. You have the power to make something happen for your future.
This dream is also about shining the spotlight on our own hidden talents. As Brits, we are not very good at accepting compliments. If someone says we’ve done something amazing, we will often dismiss it and say, “Oh, it’s nothing.”
But this dream is about allowing others to recognise our talents and learning that when we are praised for doing something amazing, we should say, “Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say.”
Sex in a car (or on it)
A CAR symbolises personal drive and ambition.
When we talk about ambitious people, we refer to them as having drive, or stepping on the gas.
Wanting to have sex in a car shows a desire to achieve something[/caption]
This dream shows there is something you want to achieve – and you are becoming aware that you have the capacity to drive this forward.
If you are on a bus or a train, then there is something in your waking life that is taking you forward – perhaps a new project – but there are constraints to work within and you need the help of others to reach the destination.
Sex with your ex
IT might be a boyfriend or girlfriend from 20 years ago cropping up in your dreams.
It is not about the relationship but all about one of their qualities.
Dreaming about having sex with your ex doesn’t necessarily mean you want them back[/caption]
We often seek out partners because we find it in them something we need to express in ourselves.
If that person was warm and generous, then this dream is highlighting that you want to be more warm and generous.
If they were untruthful or unreliable, then it is suggesting you are letting yourself down by not facing up to something.
Sex dressed inappropriately
CLOTHES are about giving off an image, so if you feel you are dressed inappropriately in your dream then you might be trying to keep other people happy, instead of doing something to make yourself happy.
If you are naked and trying to cover yourself up because you feel embarrassed, then you are feeling vulnerable. You are feeling that you do not want people to see the real you.
Fantasising about wearing a costume during sex may mean you are trying to keep other people happy, rather than yourself[/caption]
Certain outfits have specific meanings. A military uniform suggests you are taking yourself too seriously.
Often this happens when you feel you are having to follow certain rules, or do something a certain way. It means you should try to give yourself some freedom to do things differently.
Conversely, if you are dressed as a clown, that is about wanting to be taken more seriously.
WHEN Fifty Shades Of Grey came out, there was a spike in fetish dreams. I had a lot of clients asking if they should recreate their kinky dreams in their waking life – but that is not up to me to answer!
If it is about BDSM, then your brain is creating an authority figure and a ritualistic process. It might be that you feel constrained in an aspect of your life.
Fifty Shades Of Grey caused a spike in fetish dreams[/caption]
If there is spanking, it shows you are striving for something but recognise there will be pain getting there.
If you find you cannot say your “safe word”, you are feeling a loss of control.
If the dream is about something you might consider deviant, then you are looking to do something differently. You are searching for a new way through an aspect of your life.
Sex in a public place
MAKING love in a public toilet or restaurant bathroom is a very common dream.
This could mean we need to get rid of something – to flush something away – in order to fulfil something in our waking life.
Dreaming about having sex in a public place may mean you want to get rid of something from your life[/caption]
It might be that we know we can achieve something but we are ashamed of sharing this idea with other people because that will make us look needy or unusual.
Perhaps we are worried about being criticised by others – that they will literally think our ideas are s**t.
Sex with someone of different orientation
THIS can feel scary and confusing, but it is about how you are becoming more tolerant of different behaviours and beliefs.
It might be that you have been very critical of someone at work, or you do not like the way certain friends behave, but this shows you are becoming much more open to their ways and ideas.
If you are heterosexual and dream about having sex with somebody of the same gender, it could mean you are comfortable with your body image[/caption]
If you are heterosexual and find yourself dreaming of having sex with someone of the same gender, this suggests you are becoming more comfortable with your own body image.
Sex with the boss
A CLASSIC dream, it can be quite horrifying if you think your boss is the last person on earth you would want to sleep with.
This dream is actually about power and authority, and the ability to make your own decisions.
Dreaming of sex with your boss is all about power and authority[/caption]
You are giving yourself permission to be yourself and realising that your power is recognised by other people.
When Barack Obama was elected US President, lots of people reported having dreams about him. Yes, he is a handsome man, but it is the symbolism of power and authority that makes us dream of political figures.
That is why people also tell me they have dreamed of having sex with President Trump and probable PM-in-waiting Boris Johnson.
Sex with your first love
THIS is always a really powerful one because it goes right to the heart of your identity.
It is about the real you and the quality in yourself that is the most meaningful to you.
Many people dream of their first love when they have the opportunity to change something in their life[/caption]
You want to create something in a new field that you have never done before.
Dreaming of your first love often happens when you have the opportunity to change something in your life and are finding something meaningful.
Having an affair
DREAMING about your partner having an affair can be so vivid, you may wake up feeling physically upset.
You might even be angry with your partner and think something like: “How dare you have sex with that woman in my dream.”
Dreaming about your partner having an affair can mean you are losing confidence and faith in yourself[/caption]
In your waking life you may have been thinking your partner has been spending too much time in the company of someone attractive.
What is really happening is you are losing faith in your own attractiveness. You are losing confidence and faith in yourself.
This dream shows you are relying on other people for approval or to feel special.
The worrying thing is how this can transfer into waking life, and you might well find yourself daydreaming about having an affair.
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
If you are the one having sex with other people in your dreams, it is unlikely to mean you are dissatisfied with your partner.
It is showing that you have not just one skill or ability, but you have plenty of skills that you can apply to lots of scenarios.
I often tell clients the dream suggests they should risk showing different sides of themselves – whether that is physically, emotionally or spiritually.
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