Boris Johnson has been playing hardball with the EU from the outset — if only Theresa May had too

Boris Johnson has been playing hardball with the EU from the outset — if only Theresa May had too

HERE’S the terrible irony. Boris Johnson is now doing with Brexit exactly what should have been done three years ago. If only we could have our time over again!

First, he’s making the threat of No Deal serious. With Theresa May, it never was. Brussels knew she didn’t even want to leave, never mind with No Deal.

Boris has been playing hardball with the EU from the outset, if only May had too, writes Rod Liddle

And whenever No Deal was threatened there would always be some helpful soul in her Cabinet to say . . . “That will never happen.”  People such as the treacherous Philip Hammond.

Not any more. Second, he’s shaking up the civil service a bit.  It was civil servants who did most of the negotiating — and they are all wildly pro Remain.

But with Boris’s adviser Dominic Cummings wielding the stick they might just be a little more amenable than before.

Third — he’s realised that the bloody Northern Ireland backstop was never anywhere near so serious an impediment as the Remainers (and the Irish) claimed.

And fourth, and maybe most importantly, he’s leading the country with a sense of optimism and chutzpah.


Of course it’s Boris, so he may well do something totally bonkers and wreck the process. But so far he’s got everything right.

He hasn’t got long to sort out a deal, the days are counting down. But my guess is that he WILL get one.

The EU likes to talk a hard game but it usually budges in the end. It is desperate to avoid No Deal.

And if it doesn’t budge — fine. A bumpy road for a few weeks and we’ll be OK, better off than ever. And free. The big threat to Brexit is not the EU — it’s our Parliament, once again.

The Labour Party has ditched all semblance of principle and is now for a second referendum.

Brussels knew May didn’t even want to leave, never mind with No Deal

Rod Liddle

Worse, Boris has a majority of only one. That’s not his fault — blame Theresa May for calling an election two years ago.

It looks to me that if Magic Grandpa Jeremy Corbyn calls a vote of no confidence, he will probably win.

Labour is already cosying up to the Scottish Nationalists and saying they wouldn’t mind a second referendum on independence.

There is now nothing Labour wouldn’t do to gain power. Destroy the union and scupper Brexit — Magic Grandpa doesn’t care.

But if this whole thing ends with Labour des- troying Brexit, the party will never be trusted again.


Oh sure, it will still get the votes from the metropolitan, middle-class lefties. But its working-class base will desert it, for good.

So the message for Magic Grandpa is very clear. Win your vote of confidence, lose your voters. He’s not the brightest of men, but I do hope he grasps this.

And Boris? Keep straight ahead. Play as hardball as possible with Brussels, knowing they want a deal. Strike as many deals with the likes of the USA and Canada as possible.

And remind Brussels that if we walk away without a deal, they don’t get a single penny from us. That should help to concentrate their minds for a while.
But hell, I still wish Theresa May had taken this approach from the outset. But her heart was never in it, was it?

Theresa May’s threat of No Deal was never serious, and Brussels knew it
The Mega Agency

Hassle-free and catty

MORE and more men are not bothering with girlfriends. They’re keeping CATS instead. Because they are less hassle.

This has been revealed in a new report by researchers with too much time on their hands. What these men want, I think, is the best of both worlds.

I used to have a girlfriend who spent all day long sitting on the roof of the shed. Then she’d dart out into the road after a thrush. She was great.

Had a little bell around her neck. And did her business in a small tray by the back door.

Liberal Lefties in a fix

A WOMAN in East London said nasty things to someone taking part in a gay Pride march. She was wearing a niqab, so the lefties didn’t get too cross.

Still, it is at last beginning to dawn on the woke liberals that the more fervently Muslim a person may be, the less likely it is that he or she will take kindly to people who have a knack for interior design and enjoy watching Mamma Mia!.

Getty Images – Getty

The more fervently Muslim a person may be, the less likely is it that he or she will take kindly to the gay community, writes Rod Liddle[/caption]

This has put them in a bit of a quandary. Much as have those largely Muslim protests outside schools in the Midlands which insist on teaching kids how wonderful gay relationships might be.

The same sort of quandary that affects feminists, who are not entirely convinced that a 6ft chap with a todger and a beard who wishes to be called “Loretta” in the name of gender freedom actually is a woman.

This is the thing with identity politics, protected characteristics and so on. Tug gently on one of its threads and the whole thing begins to unravel like a pink mohair jumper knitted by an imbecile.


Steve Smith is half ours

HERE’S some consol­ation for you cricket fans, in despair at our Ashes defeat. Steve Smith, the man who did most of the damage, is at least HALF English.

He’s got an English mum and has dual nationality.

Steve Smith, the man who did most of the damage at our Ashes defeat, is HALF English — we’re saved
Getty – Contributor

He used to play cricket for a team in Sevenoaks, in Kent.

So what we should do is divide his run total down the middle – we get half, the Aussies get half. That means we won the first Test. Fair dinkum?

No income tax, no problem

THE latest figures show a staggering 43 per cent of Brits pay no income tax at all. Incredible, no?

Sometimes I think that one day I’ll be the only person left in the country paying tax.

And I’ll get rung up by the Inland Revenue. “Sorry, Liddle, we need to fire off a few missiles to scare the Iranians. We’ll take it out of your next payment.”

Thing is, if people aren’t paying tax, or aren’t married to someone paying tax, should they have the vote?

Elbows in the air

THE way to pose for your Instagram shots this summer is to stand with your elbows in the air.

Be prepared too see this latest pose involving putting your elbows in the air, everywhere you go this August

Here is someone doing exactly that.

And so everywhere you go this August, you will find young women doing a passable imitation of a cormorant.

Air freshener is far from fine

HANGING an air freshener from your car rear-view mirror could land you a fine.

Those scented pine-tree things could obscure your view of oncoming traffic, apparently.

Have to say, I wouldn’t mind if they were banned altogether. Especially that really sickly one that’s supposed to smell of coconut.

Here’s a tip, mini-cab drivers. If you want your car to smell nice for passengers, maybe take a shower once in a while?

HANGING an air freshener from your car rear-view mirror could land you a fine.

See gulls is key

APPARENTLY, if you stare hard at a seagull in a menacing fashion it will be too scared to nick your packet of chips.

This is the new advice from the experts. I’ve known it all along. Stare hard at the bird as if it’s just spilt your pint, or tried to chat up your girlfriend.

Stare hard at a seagull and it might just back off, according to experts
Getty – Contributor

And also add in a bit of abuse and threats for good measure. “You f***ing want some, you yellow-beaked t***er?

“I’ll cut you open like a tin of peaches, Sunshine.” Always works, until the Old Bill turn up.

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