Judy Murray has explained how watching pushy parents taught her how not to bring up tennis star sons Jamie and Andy. Murray played an integral role in their rise to the professional ranks and supported them throughout their glittering careers.
Older brother Jamie never cracked the singles game but he was a specialist in doubles, winning the Australian Open and US Open titles in 2016. Andy also had a good season in that year, picking up his second Wimbledon title and third Grand Slam singles triumph, as well the second of his two Olympic gold medals.
In an interview with The Times, Judy says she stuck to her own brand of coaching and parenting when the boys were little, telling stories of youngsters who were offered treats on the way home, but only if they won their matches, as examples of what not to do.
“Andy played a lot of football when he was younger and really, while it was not all of the parents, always there were some who would run up and down the sidelines shouting instruction at their kids,” she explained.
“You would see the kids fearfully looking across and not wanting to disappoint their parents, and then being worried about their performance and then not enjoying it. You’re just little and you’re learning, and you learn more when you’re losing, you learn more from a mistake or a defeat than you do from a win — but you’ve obviously got to learn how to deal with both.
“It is very easy to see how parents can get overly invested emotionally, financially and time-wise in an individual sport like tennis or golf, for example — and that can bring stress.
“I was always aware that your kids pick up on everything from you, so if you’re nervous or angry or overexcited or acting a little bit out, they pick up on it immediately. You have to learn how to be very calm even if it’s a bluff a lot of the time.”
Murray started as a volunteer coach at Dunblane Sports Club, and with Andy now retired and Jamie in the latter years of his career, she has moved into writing novels, among other ventures.
One of those includes the creation of youth tennis competitions more focused on fun and team play rather than putting all the pressure on an individual. In it, competitors win points for their team and organisers encourage socialising and sharing treats after matches.
